


Teenage Wasteland

by Zaney_hacknslash



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Teen Angst, Teen gojyo, Teen hakkai, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 09:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8368072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaney_hacknslash/pseuds/Zaney_hacknslash
Summary: Hakkai and Gojyo meet as teenagers in an alternate universe and find themselves at the center of a deadly plot, playing into the hands of a deranged mob boss.





	1. Chapter 1

_…Don’t cry  
Don’t close your eyes…_

**Hakkai**

“C’mon, Hakkai,” Quing hissed. “You know we’re not supposed to be here—we’ll get in trouble.”  
I hardly had time to take his sniveling seriously. She had come here, the one who looked like me. If I could only find her and ask her name…

“That’s not necessarily true. I’m not allowed to be here, because I’m a minor. Seeing how you’re nearly nineteen, I highly doubt you’ll get in trouble.”

“Yeah, but they still frown on us coming here, you know.”

“Then go home,” I suggested calmly. I didn’t have time for his pathetic whimpering on a good day, and having him here to distract me from finding her was all the more frustrating. I hoped being somewhat cold to him would simply drive him away.

Quing gave me a sheepish, frightened look. He was two years older than me, but his round, baby face often gave me the impression that he was barely past the age of fourteen.

“Yeah. Go home.” Liling elbowed him. She was a year younger than Quing, and therefore also a minor, but I’d observed that she certainly had more grit. “Hakkai and me are gonna have fun.”  
I could sense that she was waiting eagerly for a moment to be alone with me, and, undoubtedly, when that moment came, I would have to make up some excuse, or else give her the honest truth, which was that I hadn’t the slightest bit of interest in Liling. She was a pretty girl, and very intelligent. Her mild enthusiasm for adventure was attractive enough, and I felt that, over all, we were compatible, but I had no time for her either. Between my studies and actually attending class, I didn’t have time to entertain a silly girl. The money I saved up from my summer job was hardly enough to support me throughout the school year, and I certainly didn’t intend to waste any of it taking her out on dates.

Besides, my eye was elsewhere.

On her…

I’d been attending the prestigious research school in Cheng for over a year now, and I was fitting in well enough. Better than I had at the orphanage, at any rate. I still had a trouble making friends, and the few I had still complained that I never smiled, or that, at times, I could be scary, but my main focus was on my studies, so it hardly mattered. Besides, I was substantially younger than most of the other students, and I allowed myself to make the excuse that we just weren’t on the same page. Albeit, it was a somewhat shabby justification, but it served its purpose.

These two were more study partners than anything, but I didn’t need help studying. I’d agreed because they’d begged me to be in their group, and I knew I benefitted them far more than they benefitted me.

We walked a little further, and Liling started joking with Quing, but he didn’t seem inclined to laugh, or join in. I could see from the way he glanced back and forth that he was nervous. “What if Dean Hyoka finds out? He’ll kill us.”

“Oh, nonsense,” I snorted. “I’ll receive few demerits, that’s all. You’ll get a firm lecture.”

“Yeah, but what about—”

“No one asked you to come,” I reminded him stiffly.

He was quiet again. Liling whined about missing lunch in the refectory.

I barely suppressed a sigh, wishing once again that they had both stayed at the university. We only had two hours before our next class would begin, and it seemed it would be all the more difficult to get back in time with them in tow, let alone be able to find and have a word with her.

Besides, An Jin was a dangerous place. Just a few miles down the hill from the campus, it was a bit larger than our home town of Cheng, and it was a veritable kingdom of gang violence, drug rings, and prostitution. A breath of fresh air compared to our stuffy school.

I glanced around with interest at the dilapidated architecture and grungy, desperate people. Finding the girl with green eyes was just one reason to come to An Jin. Frankly, I’d been curious about this place ever since orientation, in which they’d mentioned that it was frowned upon to visit, and for me, as a minor, and an orphan, the complete responsibility of the school, it was irrevocably off limits.

“Hakkai.” Liling pulled at my shirt sleeve, utilizing a somewhat pleading, feminine tone. “Can we stop and get lunch somewhere? We have time, don’t we?”

I certainly didn’t have time. Not if I was going to find the green-eyed girl. I had only two hours to accomplish my goal, and every second of those hundred and twenty minutes had to be spent focusing on that. “No.”

She frowned at me. “You’re always so serious, Hakkai.”

“And yet, you continue to put up with me. It’s a wonder you can be so patient.”

They were both quiet. I think they were puzzling over whether or not I was being serious, as they often had to.

“You’re welcome to get lunch,” I told them, “but I’m still looking.”

“Looking for what?” Quing demanded.

“The red light district,” Liling muttered.

I answered impatiently, “Looking around. I can eat any time I choose, but there’s no telling when I’ll be back in An Jin.”

They mumbled amongst themselves a minute or two, no doubt complaining about how odd I was, and that was fine. The only thing that mattered to me was finding her.

Some shouting rang out, and I hesitated, looking ahead, curiously.

Halfway down the alley, a man attacked a girl. He was large and dirty-looking, with ill-kempt facial hair and bloodshot eyes, and she was thin, somewhat tall for a woman, with long, scarlet-red hair. “Give it up, ya fuckin’ slut!” the man screamed, making a grab for her, but she took a quick step back, just out of his reach. She had something in one hand, half turned away from the man so he couldn’t grab it, and he stumbled drunkenly.

“Great,” Quing said caustically. “We got here just in time to watch somebody get raped.”

I rather didn’t appreciate his dark humor on the matter, and I couldn’t help giving him a reproachful look.

Liling grabbed onto my arm. “Um, shouldn’t we…tell someone?”

I watched, more inquisitive than afraid. The girl wasn’t backing off or running. From her body language and her stance, I could see that she was ready to fight. An odd thing to see in a woman, I thought. Even Liling would have been running and screaming were she to find herself in a similar position.

The man made another grab, and this time managed to get the girl by the arm. He cocked his fist back, punching her across the face. The girl fell hard, immediately scrambled to get up again, and the man kicked her down. “I’m gonna fuck you up, kid.” He produced a knife, shimmering brightly in the dull sun.

Liling gasped, holding onto me even more tightly.  
I shook loose of her easily, starting forward.

“What are you doing?” Quing demanded. “Hakkai!”

I was already running, not quite sure what possessed me to do so. I’d been in my share of fights, some at the orphanage, some at school, and I knew I was good. Good enough? That remained to be seen.

I jumped lithely over the girl, putting my knee right in the man’s face, seconds before he could stab. I felt his nose break, and blood sprayed across my white uniform. He tumbled backward, screaming and clutching at his bleeding face, landed in a cloud of dust, and I stood over him momentarily, watching him writhe and moan, and then I turned around to offer the girl my hand. “Are you all right, Miss?”

She slapped my hand away rather rudely, sat up raking long hair back from her face, and I saw twin scars along her left cheek. I also saw red eyes, bright with fury, a lean chest, broad shoulders, and a complete lack of cleavage. “Who the fuck’re you callin’ miss, asshole?” he snarled, baring his teeth at me.

I was so stunned to discover the damsel in distress was in fact a boy, approximately my age, I could only stammer, “I…well, I…that is…you look…”

He wiped the blood off his face with the back of his wrist, got to his feet a bit unsteadily, and shouldered past me, absently brushing at the blood on his jeans and hoode sweatshirt. He went straight to the man I’d knocked down and started wailing on him. I watched in amazement as he grabbed the bigger man by the front of the shirt, lifting him off the ground a few feet, and punched him repeatedly in the head. “Don’t fuck with me, you fuckin’ sonnova bitch!” He kicked him as well, and went on punching and elbow-striking until his knuckles and his forearms were streaked with blood.

“Hakkai!” Quing grabbed me, looking pale. I’d nearly forgotten him. “Let’s get outta here before we’re next!” And the he and Liling were both running, shouting back to me, but I stayed where I was, watching in fascination as the skinny boy proceeded to beat the living hell out of a man more than twice his size. I’d never witnessed such unrestrained violence in my life, and though I felt my stomach twitching, I couldn’t help feeling some exhilaration.

When he’d thrashed the man good, and it seemed he would be unconscious for a while, the boy dropped him and spun on me, hair hanging in his bruised face. “What’re you lookin’ at, pretty boy? Don’t got anything to do besides stare at my ass?”

“Um. No. I beg your pardon, I just…”

“’I beg your pardon’? What’re you from the hill or somethin? Scram, before I pulverize you too.”

“Excuse me,” I answered coldly, “but I believe I just saved your life.”

“What? Who the fuck you think you are?” He shouldered closer, getting in my face, and I noticed he was just an inch or so taller than I. Still, I wasn’t at all sure I could take him should he turn that violence on me next. “He wasn’t gonna kill me. And I coulda kicked his ass without you butting in, so suck my dick.”

His demeanor, particularly his language, was aversive, but still I found myself strangely drawn to him. There was something about that fire in his eyes and the ferocity in his spirit.

“I’m sorry,” I said immediately, although it was something that didn’t come across my lips often. “I had no intention of interfering in a man-to-man fist fight. You see, from behind, I honestly mistook you for a girl… You can’t tell me that doesn’t happen occasionally.”

He was still scowling, but I didn’t think he expected me to apologize. I think he expected me to either scream back and make threats, or run away crying, so he just shrugged, gave a brief, almost hateful tug on his hair, and then dug into the pocket of his sweatshirt, producing a cigarette and lighter. He lit the thing and took a deep, almost shaky breath. “’Sall right. Happens a lot.”

“Hm. Perhaps you should get it cut.”

He stared at me like the idea was completely out of the question, and then rearranged his hair, jerking it loose from where it was tucked behind his ears, and it fell over the scars on his cheek. “Yeah. Right. Good idea…”

“Hakkai,” I asserted at once, though I didn’t think he’d necessarily been looking for my name.

He blinked. “Um…sure. Hakkai. Anyway, you better beat it before you get mugged or something. People wearing nice clothes don’t last too long over here.” With that, he turned away, gave the man on the ground one final, defiant kick to the side, and sauntered away, spewing smoke.

For a second, I watched him go, still feeling that curiosity and attraction burning inside my chest, and then, hardly aware of why, I followed him. “Wait, just a moment…oni-chan…”

“Oni-chan?” He gave me another stony look over his shoulder. “Damn, kid. You got any idea who you’re talking to?”

“No. Perhaps if you’d given me your name in return for mine, as etiquette usually mandates, I would.”

“You gotta be shittin’ me. What, you lose your mommy or something?”

“I’m only asking for your name.”

“What’s it to you?”

“Not a thing. I would just be…obliged if you’d tell me your name.”

For a long, long time, he stood and gave me the strangest look, an expression I couldn’t quite make sense of, and I watched him go through a phase of different emotions. He started out by looking invariably annoyed, and then slightly curious himself, and by the time we’d been staring at each other for a few minutes, he seemed somewhat more relaxed. “Gojyo.”

“Gojyo?”

“Yep. Sha Gojyo. Can I do something for you, or what?”

“Oh, no… I…do feel bad, mistaking you for a girl, you know.”

“Still? That was like five minutes ago. I’m over it, you should be too.”

“Just the same, I’d like to make it up to you.”

Something cautious entered his eyes, and he glanced around, as if someone were going to sneak up on him. “How?”

He certainly was a suspicious and paranoid person, unfriendly to a degree I rarely encountered, and yet that made me all the more determined to have my way. I of all people would not be deterred by an surly person. “Lunch?” I suggested.

Gojyo’s eyes flicked up and down, sizing me up. “You…wanna buy me lunch?”

“I suppose so,” I agreed slowly, remembering that I needed to save all the money I could.

“What?” he snapped. “Think I can’t get food by myself? What makes you think I’m not loaded? My dad’s the richest fuck in town, so take your free, fucking pity lunch and cram it up your ass.”

That got me a bit ruffled, and I started to lose my composure, but I forced myself to stay polite, refusing to be riled by someone like him. “I don’t believe you. And even if it is true, I wasn’t offering you a so-called pity lunch.”

“Yeah, then what’re you tryin’ to do?”

“Well, I don’t know. I’m hungry, and I thought you might like to join me.”

“What is wrong with you? Your dick screwed on backwards or something? Do you even know where you are? Nobody comes to this side of the tracks and tries to buy people lunch! You’ll get yourself mugged.”

“Mugged? Over lunch?” I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Damn straight over lunch. If people think you’ve got money, they’re gonna’ take it from you. Like that ass back there.”

“I couldn’t help but notice you haven’t tried to mug me.”

That seemed to stump him, and he actually shut up for a moment or two. “Yeah, well I ain’t a mugger, that’s all.”

“Then I don’t see what harm there could possibly be in my buying you lunch.”

“Dammit. Seriously. What’s your angle? Does it look like I got anything a rich prick like you needs?”

That was the last straw for me, and I snapped, “Oh, enough. I’ve never met anyone so unbelievably ungrateful in all my life—here I offer to buy you food, as a gesture of apology, and you have the nerve to call me names and act as if I’m doing you some great insult. It’s a free lunch for goodness sake.”

Gojyo started to say something else, and then…slowly, he seemed to think it over again, ran his hand back through his hair, and in another second, he looked considerably sheepish. “Look, I’m sorry. Forget it, man. I just…this’s weird, you know?”

“I have no doubt that it is, Gojyo-san. Now do you want lunch or not?”

He pulled his sweatshirt tighter over his shoulders, took one long, hard look behind him, and then, suddenly, he was grinning at me. It was…bizarre. Seeing someone go from being unshakably hostile to friendly in the blink of an eye like that was one of the strangest things I’d ever seen, and it was infectious somehow.  
I felt the corners of my mouth threatening to tug upward as well.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

“Do you know a good place?”

“Ha. Not somewhere a well-bred dude like you’s gonna wanna go to. You better pick.”

  
Almost half an hour later, I found myself uptown, where the buildings were nicer, and there were fewer youkai, and everyone was well-dressed and pleasant, sitting in a café called the Ching-Lan. The other patrons stared at us when we were seated, and I realized I was still spattered with blood, but they were content to murmur to one another, just lowly enough that we couldn’t hear, and we both ignored them.

I watched the people on the street go calmly about their lives, and Gojyo slouched in the chair across from me, smoking and staring at the menu with a decidedly perplexed gaze. When the waiter finally came, I ordered a bowl of lo mein with a side of chicken, and Gojyo asked for more time. Twice.

“Hey, dude. What’s good?”

“Oh, I don’t know. I usually pick the first thing I see on a menu like this.”

He glanced at me over the top of his menu, testing to see if I was serious. “What are you getting?”

“Lo mein.”

“That sounds good.” He kept staring at the menu, and then he finally ordered a bowl of wok tossed noodles with beef tips, a side of steamed sea bass rolls, some egg drop soup and a beer. It was all rather expensive, but I decided it would be rude to complain after I’d been so insistent that he come to lunch with me, so I accepted it without a word.

The waiter looked at him rather disdainfully. “ID?”

Gojyo flashed a card at him, and the waiter went on his way.

“How odd,” I remarked. “You don’t look old enough to drink.” He didn’t look a day over fifteen.

“Pft. Yeah, well, I ain’t gonna let that stop me.”  
I nodded, taking a sip of water and watching the people a while longer, trying to remember if, during the course of my sheltered life, I’d ever met someone with a fake ID before.

Gojyo smoked in silence, and then suddenly leaned forward. “Hey, where’re you from?”

“I’m Hakkai, remember? Not dude, and not hey. Hakkai.”

“Hey, frowny-face.”

I turned to him, saw the mischievous grin was back, cocked to one side, cigarette barely hanging out the other. His eyes were sparkling.

“Where’re you from?”

“Do you mean to ask me where I was born?”

“Nah, I mean where’d you come from today? You ain’t from Jin, right?”

“No. I came down from Cheng.”

“Cheng?!”

“I see you’ve heard of it.”

“Shit, what in the hell are you doing here? Who in their right mind comes down from Cheng to visit a shitty place like An Jin?”

“People with nothing more exciting to do, I suppose.”

“Damn. Wish my life was that boring.”

“Where are you from?”

“Here.”

“I meant originally.”

“Oh. Just a shitty little place up north. It was worse than here…that’s why I came down. See, maybe you don’t know this, but people tend to try to work their way up, not down.”

“Ah. Is that how it is? In that case, I believe I’ve been doing it wrong.”

“Easy fix though, man.” He ground the cigarette out and immediately began another. “Get your posh ass back to Cheng and don’t ever think about An Jin again.”

“That sounds like good advice, but I’m afraid I can’t.”

“Don’t tell me you got business in this dump.”

“No, not exactly business. See…there’s…a girl.”

Gojyo leaned forward again, eyes fixed on me with extreme interest. “A chick huh? She hot?”

For the first time, I felt a little odd being so open with this complete stranger. I couldn’t exactly put my finger on why I’d invited him to lunch, and I could hardly believe I was on the verge of telling him about the girl with the green eyes. I hadn’t told anyone at Cheng about her.

“Who could say?” I murmured.

He waited a while, expecting me to continue, and then he snorted, “Hell, I could. Let me get a look at this tart and I’ll tell ya if she’s hot or not.”

“Is that so?” I strained not to show any annoyance with him, but I didn’t like the way he was talking about my green-eyed girl.

“I’m an expert on chicks.” He flashed me another grin.

“That’s odd, seeing how you’re barely a man.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, barely a man? Hey, I didn’t come here to be insulted, asshole!”

“Feel free to leave.”

“What? You crazy? First you practically force me to have lunch with you, and then you say you don’t care if I leave. Make up your mind.”

The waiter returned at that precise moment, setting our respective dishes in front of us, bowing humbly and backing away.

Gojyo stared down at his food, mouth hanging open. “Shit.”

I picked up my chop sticks and began quietly eating my noodles.

He didn’t wait a second longer before diving in. I’d never in my life seen anyone eat with such desperation, sometimes using the chopsticks, sometimes not, stuffing his face as quickly as he could, hunched over the plate as if someone was going to take it from him, pausing only occasionally to quaff from his glass of beer. It was such a manic approach to dining, I found myself wholly distracted, holding a scoop of lo mein halfway to my mouth for a full two minutes as I watched him scarf down the noodles, the soup, cram a roll in his mouth whole, and drink most of his beer.

“You…I mean, don’t you ever eat?”  
He swallowed before answering, which I was unbelievably grateful for. “’Course I eat. What kinda dumb question is that?”

I took a moment to take notice of how skinny he was and doubted severely what he was telling me. “It was stupid, I suppose.”

Gojyo started to say something else, when a woman in her mid thirties suddenly came up behind him, setting a hand on his shoulder. She had short, dark hair and dark eyes, was dressed in a flattering dress, and had a lascivious kind of smile. “Well, hel-lo, Honey. Didn’t think I’d ever see you up on this side of town.”

Gojyo froze for a split second, looking like he’d been caught in some obscene act, eyes tilted up to look at the woman, but the rest of his face stayed perfectly still. And then he smiled, quite charmingly. “Well, look who it is. What’s up, babe?”

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just wanted to say hello. If you’re busy, I can come around later.”

At first, the exchange was little more than odd to me, and then, I noticed the way she slid her hand down Gojyo’s back and leaned over to speak close to his face, and I realized the truth, abruptly.

“Naw, it’s cool. I’ll see you later, huh?”

She went right on smiling lustfully, and it was a bit disquieting, seeing how she was probably almost old enough to be his mother. “God, you’ve got gorgeous eyes, kiddo. Yeah, I think I’m hooked. I’ll be seeing you later.” Threading her fingers briefly through Gojyo’s hair, she winked at me. “Don’t rough him up too much, pretty boy. Alright?” Then she was off, and out the door.

As soon as he was gone, Gojyo blinked, like he was waking up from a long, strange sleep, and then he lowered his eyes, tilting his head forward so the hair formed a curtain around his face, smiling crookedly. “Uh. Sorry. About that.”

I had no idea what to say. Part of me honestly wanted to be disgusted. I thought it might even make the most sense to get up and walk away as well. But a larger part of me wished I could simply forget it had happened, and the biggest part of me, really wanted to say that I was the one who was sorry, though I wasn’t sure what for.

Gojyo was obviously waiting for my reaction, so I opted to pretend I hadn’t understood. “Oh, not at all. A friend of yours?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

I went back to eating, but he kept sitting there like if he moved someone else would jump up and grab him.

I considered the exchange while I waited for him to come back to life. It was impossible to deny that the encounter had been sexual, and I wondered just what sort of life he was living that had driven him to be…

I didn’t want to consider any more.

“Eat,” I suggested. “From the look of you, not even God knows where your next meal is coming from.”

Gojyo slanted an uncertain look at me, before slowly returning to his meal. “Tell me about your girl.”

“There’s not much to tell. We’ve never met.”

He nodded like that was perfectly normal. “So you stalk her on weekends or something?”

“Between classes, actually.”

“Sounds fun.”

I supposed he was taking it as a given that I attended Cheng University, and if he wasn’t, I had no desire to tell him.

“What about you, Gojyo-san? Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Nah, I don’t really date people.”

I didn’t dare comment there, so I sat and tried to think of something else to say.

While I was thinking, yet another person came along, and this time, seeing how it was a man, I had to suppress an uncomfortable sigh. I’d rather not listen to another awkward exchange.

The man was a bit younger, though he was a good four or five years older than either of us, and he had short, bleached blonde hair, and long youkai ears, a mark over his left eye, and very thin eyebrows. “Goo-jyoo-chaa-an,” he called. “Hey, what in the hell are you doing all the way up here?”  
Gojyo gave him a dirty look. “Geez, I dunno, Banri, I can’t see that far either.”

“Hey, turd, don’t gime’ that cute shit. I been lookin’ all over for you. And where in the fuck did you get the money to eat here?”

I saw Gojyo glance at me, and then he shrugged. “Made a lotta money today. What about you, ass wipe? You make anything?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I always make good money. Anyway.” Banri leaned on Gojyo’s chair. “You coulda dug through the dumpster out back. It’s cheaper.”

“Well, shit. Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because you’re a dumb ass.”

“Watch who you’re callin’ dumb ass, dumb ass. I bailed your fuckin’ ass out yesterday morning.”  
“And believe me, buddy, I appreciate that, but now it’s time to go, so grab a doggy bag, or whatever they have in this upscale fish-shack, and let’s scram. Dasha’s askin’ for you.”

Gojyo finally stopped eating, and his tone turned flat. “What’s he want?”

“I don’t fuckin’ know, but if I don’t get you over there soon it’s my head, so finish your beer and let’s beat it.” For the first time, Banri seemed to notice me. “Who’s the prep?”

“Some kid. I don’t know. This was the only place to sit.”

Banri glanced around, and I doubted he’d be stupid enough to not notice the empty tables, but he didn’t say anything aside from, “Nica him to tolerate you, huh?” He smiled on me, eyes narrowing, and there was something I didn’t like about him right away. “Hey. Thanks for lettin’ my mutt sit with you, Money.”

Mutt?

Gojyo ground his teeth, his eyes turned hard as rubies, and I thought he’d launch into another fit of anger, but he kept his mouth shut.

“It’s nothing,” I said coolly, but I didn’t look at Banri. “Honestly, Gojyo-san. Nothing.”

“Ooooo, Gojyo-san. I kinda like that.” Banri laughed and dug his knuckles into Gojyo’s scalp. “Anyway, we better beat it, Gojyo-san. Dasha’s in a bad mood today.”

After that, everything happened very quickly. Banri grabbed Gojyo’s arm and pulled him to his feet. Gojyo put out his cigarette, swallowed the last of his beer. He met my gaze, but only for a second; I thought he’d say something, anything really, but he just gave me another smile. This one was sad somehow, and I knew it was the only sort of thanks I was going to get. Then, he turned and followed Banri out the door.

I sat a while longer, thinking. I thought a long, long time actually, well past the time I should have been back in class, but I never felt that I’d drawn an honest conclusion. Everything I’d seen and heard today was…bizarre. There were elements outside the strangeness—sinister moments, moments that felt almost dangerous; shadows passed over the event one by one, there was a pallor of despair and chaos, but always Gojyo’s spirit was at the center of it, brave and relentless and somehow very…tender, even when his mouth was shouting obscenities and threats.

By the time I paid for the meal and walked back to Cheng, the only thing I knew for sure was that I would like to see him again.

 **Gojyo**

_Why did he do that?_

No matter how I looked at it I just couldn’t get it to make sense. At first, when he’d approached me, I’d believed him about being a good citizen who wanted to help out the damsel in distress—even if it did turn out that the damsel was me instead—but when he’d followed me and offered to buy me lunch, I’d been sure that he was after something. But hey, free food was free food, and for all I knew I could cheat him or scam him. He’d been way too naïve to be wandering on the wrong side of An Jin.

I’d had my chances, I guess, and I hadn’t taken them. I don’t know if it’s because he had stepped in when dozens of other people would have just walked away, or because he bought me lunch and seemed genuinely nice, or if I was just going soft, but the longer I’d sat there with him the less I’d wanted to take advantage of him—I was even a little sorry for ordering such expensive food—and the more time had passed the more certain I’d been that he didn’t want to take anything from me. By the time Banri came along, I was pretty sure he was the only person I’d seen all day who didn’t want something from me.

Why though? That was the part I couldn’t figure out. Who in their right mind went around feeding gutter punks like me and then didn’t ask for some kind of favor in return?

Hakkai looked like a rich boy, so maybe he didn’t need anything from me. I had heard that there were some rich people who actually gave their money away to help those less fortunate than they were, but I could hardly believe I had met one. I walked shoulder to shoulder with Banri, neither of us saying anything, and now we were back on our dingy, dirty, rotten side of town, where there was a crack whore on every corner, and a thief hiding in every alley.

_Home sweet home,_ I thought bitterly, and then I pictured Hakkai going back to Cheng, where he belonged, probably to some big, fancy house with a dog and a maid and a father who wore and suit and was never around, and a mom who sat and ate chocolates and got fat. It made me feel sort of jealous.

“Dasha didn’t tell you what he wants?” I asked Banri.

“Nope. All he said was bring Gojyo to me.”

That was disturbing. I hadn’t seen our so-called boss in weeks, but I knew as well as everyone else in this business did that when he called for you it was very rarely good news. Usually, he figured out what he wanted to do next, and then he told his right-hand man, and then he told somebody, like Banri, and Banri told me. I was the last to know, always.

“Did I do somethin’ wrong?” I tried to sound flippant and unconcerned, but my heart was starting to beat a little faster.

Banri laughed, “I dunno, buddy. Did’ja?”

“Who knows? Dasha probably just wants my advice on somethin.” 

“Ooo, maybe he wants to know how you get rich kids to buy you lunch. I wanna know that.”

“He didn’t buy my lunch.”

“I didn’t see you pay a bill.”

“Ever heard of dine and dash?”

Banri gave me a long, curious look, but I ignored him. It was nobody’s business whether or not Hakkai bought me lunch.

We rounded the corner, and Dasha’s place came into view. The old theater building had been condemned a long time ago when they decided to build a new one, over in a nicer district, but they’d never torn this one down. Probably because Dasha was paying someone off to leave it alone. Or intimidating them.

I hesitated, blowing some smoke out my nose.“How long ago did you say he asked for me?” 

“Heh. You ain’t nervous, are ya?”

“Eat me, Banri—you don’t wanna see Dasha neither.”

“Nobody ever wants to see Dasha. Don’t worry about it though—we just a coupla contractors, remember? He can’t do anything to us.”

I doubted Banri believed that any more than I did. Dasha ran this whole town, and he could do whatever he wanted to anybody who pissed him off. “How long, Banri?”

“Just a couple hours.”

A couple hours could mean getting my head smashed rather than my knees. I threw my cigarette down. “Shit fuck.”

“Hey, if you hadn’t been jerkin’ off uptown, it wouldn’t have taken so long, so there’s nobody to blame but yourself.”

That was true. And the longer I stood out here, chewing my cigarette and worrying and stalling, the pissier Dasha was going to be when I finally went inside, so I stepped past Banri, taking the lead as we went around to the side door.

Inside, the place was even colder than outside: it was drafty, with rotting rafters, torn curtains, and creaky, wooden floors. A group of guys were sitting around on overturned boxes and crates, playing cards, smoking and cursing.

Bang saw me right away and got up, throwing his cigarette down disdainfully. “Well, well, well, if it ain’t everybody’s favorite, half-blood bitch. Where you been all morning, sweetie? Nobody could find ya anywhere.”

“Get the fuck outta my face, Bang,” I growled. “Your breath smells like a dirty vagina.”

“Now you would know, wouldn’t ya?”

“At least I see a vagina every now and then.” I grinned at him, harshly. Really, I’d rather beat his fucking face black and blue, but I knew better. Dasha tended to favor Bang, and I didn’t think he’d like it if I kicked the crap out of him.

Bang shoved me hard, slamming me back into Banri. “Yeah, you suck cock more often than I do too.”

I pushed Banri away. “You lookin’ to get knifed today, Bang?”

“I think the only one who’s gonna get shived is you, punk. Dasha’s pretty pissed with you.”

“Gime a break. That’s supposed to scare me? Listen up, dick head—I don’t work for Dasha, I do him a favor. And I ain’t scared of him.”

“Oh, is that so?” Dasha’s voice said, right behind me.

I turned to see him crawling out of the shadows, just like the creepy asshole he was. His long, dark hair was pulled back today, his violet eyes seemed to glow, and every inch of his bare chest and arms was covered in intricate tattoos. He was carrying a long, wicked-looking knife with him. Right away, the other guys were standing up, attentive and nervous.

Banri and I glanced at each other, and then I smiled. “’Sup, Dasha? Man, you walked in on the wrong part of the conversation.”

Dasha smiled back. There was something indescribably creepy about his smile—it was almost gentle, like he was looking at a long-time friend, but his eyes were full of hatred. “Don’t mock me, boy. I heard the whole thing.”

“Good. We know those long-ass ears of yours are workin’ right. Want me to do an eye exam next?”

The creepy smile was gone as fast as it had come, his mouth twisted into a vicious snarl, and he took a single swipe at me. I felt the tip of the knife whip past the bridge of my nose.

“Guess that’s a no,” Banri mumbled.

“I suggest you watch your steps. You smart asses are on thin ice already, you know.” Dasha seemed to purr, and that only added to his creepiness.

“Me?” Banri whined. “What’d I do? I been in jail all week, boss.”

“I sent you to go get him almost three hours ago, Banri. What, may I ask, took so long?”

“It wasn’t my fault, Dasha—the kid was—”

“Busy.” I interrupted. “My bad. Anyway, I’m here now, so what’dya need?”

“The money from the Ginju job,” he answered, cool and composed again, voice deathly quiet. “Where is it?”

I paused, looking up at Banri, but he was being super careful not to meet my gaze. I tried to think of a way to stall, but everybody was staring at me.

“Um. I’m sorry, what? I think my ears must not work as well as yours do.”

Dasha’s face stayed perfectly emotionless as he hauled off and backhanded me across the cheek, with what seemed to be all his might. I stumbled and flipped back over the overturned crate the guys had been playing cards on. Dasha dragged me to my feet by my hair and boxed my ears a couple of times. He raised his voice, practically shouting in my face, “The _Ginju_ job, hanyou. You’d better hurry and tell me where it is.”

“Oh.” I sucked in a deep breath. He hit harder than Mom used to, but I could handle it. “The _Ginju_ job. I don’t got it.”

A look of murder crossed his face, and I thought he’d knife me there. “Why not?”

“Because.” I looked at Banri again, but he wasn’t saying anything. “Because I—”

Dasha smacked me again. My lip started gushing blood. “Don’t look at him; I’m talking to you.”

“Right. Sorry. How could I forget?”

This time he punched me so hard in the stomach, it knocked the wind out of me, and I would have fallen to my knees if he weren’t still holding me up by the hair. “Where’s the money, Gojyo?”

Everyone was just staring as I got my ass handed to me. That really pissed me off, and I couldn’t believe Banri wasn’t going to say anything. He was just going to wait to see what I did.

Dasha was hitting me again, but I was numbing to it, letting the blows fall, trying not to think too much about it. “You had three days to do that job, hanyou. I should have had my money yesterday. Now don’t tell me you wasted my money on cards and women.”

“No, no, of course not. I mean, I lost it, but—”

The fury in his eyes was so terrifying, I wasn’t sure I could stand up to it, and then he slammed my head hard, into his knee, letting me slump to the ground like a sack of meat. For what felt like forever, I laid there on the freezing floor, trying to catch my breath, feeling the mind-numbing pain throb through my skull and cursing the shit out of Banri in my head.

Dasha stood over me, his bleak voice calling to me through the darkness, “What do you mean, you lost it?”

“Got mugged today,” I choked, just so he’d stop hitting me. “I swear to God, I was bringin’ you the money, Dasha. This guy jumped me from behind, took the money. He almost fuckin’ stabbed me.”

Dasha was silent a second, but he must have believed me, because he just scoffed and gave me a light kick in the ribs. Almost like he was rewarding me for telling him the truth by not kicking the shit out of me. “Well, I wish he’d just killed you.”

_Yeah, I thought, I kinda do too._

“And how, may I ask, do you intend to get back the money you lost?”

He seemed to be done beating on me, so I sat up on my hands and knees, face hidden behind my hair. “I…can get it back. It was only a few million yen.”

Bang laughed suddenly, “Only a few million. How’re you gonna win that back, punky? By cheatin’ at cards and jerking off in front of people?”

The others all laughed, but I didn’t have time to worry about Bang. I was just hoping against hope that Dasha wouldn’t decapitate me right here, right now. “I can get it back, Dasha. I just need a little bit of time.”

“Bang is right; you can’t get this kind of money by playing cards.”

“All right, so I’ll find another way. It doesn’t matter—I’ll get the money back.”

“Wu.”

I was quiet a second, wondering if I’d heard wrong. “Wu?”

“Go to Wu. Sneak inside—there’s a medallion there, gold, encrusted with an amethyst the size of your eyeball. Bring that back to me, and I’ll overlook your blunder.”

“But Wu’s a fortress—there’s no way I can sneak in all by myself and—”

He reached down and grabbed me by the chin, tilting my head up and looking me in the eyes. His long, youkai claws scraped along the edge of my jaw, “You will go to Wu, Gojyo, and you will bring the medallion to me in two days, or else you had better run to the farthest corner of the world, because if you fail me again, I’ll make your life so terrible you will beg to die.” With that, he released my face, pushed me back down with his heavy boot, and walked away, as silently as he’d come.

Slowly, the others backed away too, snickering and jeering at me. “Good luck, hanyou,” Wang called.

Bang laughed loudly, “Yeah, if we’re lucky, your cursed ass won’t come back.”

I pulled myself to my feet, stood there wiping blood off my face and testing to see if anything was broken. When I was sure they were all gone, I turned on Banri, who was leaning back, casually smoking. “What the fuck’s your problem, partner? Couldn’t throw in a good word for me?”

“What would I have told him?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe Gojyo doesn’t have the money because I talked him into using most of it to pay my bail yesterday and then stole the rest while he was asleep so I could have a good time.”

“Don’t take it like that; I knew he wasn’t really gonna hurt’cha’. If I’d told him that he probably woulda killed me.”

“You’re a sick, sorry excuse for a partner,” I snapped.

“Yeah, well you didn’t tell him either. I wonder why that is?”

“Because I’m a good partner, asswipe. You better help me get that fucking medallion out of Wu.”

“Don’t even joke. I ain’t goin’ near Wu again. Last time I tried ta bust into that place, they had a wanted poster of my face up for two years. I had to leave town and everything.”

“You’ve been in there before—I need your help.”

“Nothin’ doin’, baby boy. You’re on your own for the Wu job.”

“Goddamn, you’re a fucking waste of life, Banri. The only reason I have to go to Wu in the first place is because I bailed your ass out! Shit!” I scraped the hair away from my face. “Why do I listen to you?”

“Excuse the shit out of me for not wanting to wait around for you to come up with the money to post my bail. Anyway, I thought you said you could make it back.”

“Well, I could have. I got some of it last night, and then today—”

“You went and jerked around up on the hill. See? It’s your own fault.”

“It’s _your > fault, Banri.”_

“Fine. Be that way. I got better things to do than hang around here and argue with you about something stupid like this, so have fun at Wu.” He turned away from me without even thinking about it and started to follow the others.

My heart sank a little, and I tried calling after him, “C’mon, wait a minute, Banri.”

He didn’t even act like he heard me.

“Banri!”

Still nothing. I hung around a few seconds, thinking he might change his mind and come back, but I already knew how stupid that was, so I kicked once at the ground, lit another cigarette, and left.

I guess I knew I should get started on the Wu job right away, go over there and scout around at least. It was going to be a hard job to pull by myself. The Wu estate was the most heavily guarded piece of property in An Jin, complete with a personal army to keep an eye on the valuables inside, comprised of three different buildings: the gallery, the guest house, and the mansion itself, and there was no telling which one the medallion Dasha wanted was in. To make matters worse, half the estate was covered by a complicated maze, where it would be easy to get lost if you didn’t know where you were going. Chances were, I’d just get electrocuted at the fence and not even have to worry about the maze, or the armed forces, or the attack dogs.

I couldn’t believe that dick head Banri had been in there before and wasn’t going to help me.

Maybe if I did a little research, I could at least figure out where the medallion was stashed.

Having an informant would be helpful, but that would take a little money, and I only had two days to get back to Dasha.

“What a nightmare,” I muttered.

Anyway, I couldn’t make a move until I had some cash, so that meant a quick trip to the local bar, where I could get a much-needed drink, and maybe some pussy. If I found a girl who didn’t mind the way Dasha had fucked up my face.

_I guess with me, it’s always gotta’ be some girl who doesn’t mind a little cosmetic damage._ I fingered my scars absently.

The bar was full of people I knew, as usual—mostly guys I knew off a strictly poker-level basis, a couple low-end dudes from Dasha’s gang, a handful of chicks who’d all fucked me, and my favorite bartender Tai.

Tai was this tall, muscular chick with a slender waist, big boobs, and manly arms and shoulders. She had long, wavy hair she kept dyed dark purple, ruby-painted lips, a couple facial piercings, and she always kept a gun hidden in a strap on her thigh. For all her warrior-like looks though, Tai was really just a big softy, with a face carved by angels.

“Hey there, Mama,” I greeted, leaning off the bar. “How about the usual?”

“Gojyo.” She gave me a wide-eyed look with her doe eyes, normally soft voice pitched a little higher than usual. “What happened to you?”

“Martial arts club, you know. Damn, my sensei is one strict sonnova bitch.”

Tai didn’t believe me, and I didn’t care. The more concerned she was about me, the closer I was to scoring with her. For some reason, I’d never been able to get her to go all the way with me—I was lucky if I got a quick kiss on the cheek at the end of the night—but I didn’t know if it was because she was eleven years older than me, or if there was something else getting in the way.

She kept her eyes on my face as she served up my drink; she knew my ID was fake, but she still served me whenever I flashed it. I didn’t get that either.

“You look terrible,” she commented quietly.

“And you look sexy as shit.”

Tai touched my hand. “You’re not in trouble, are you? Do you need a place to crash?”

“Hey, if you finally wanna take me home, I can be in all the trouble you want.”

“Gojyo,” she scolded, “Stop it. Who did this to you?”

I shrugged, took a slug off my drink, and turned my back to her. “Nobody important. Just Dasha.”

“Why?”

“Hell if I know. PMS or something.”

“Are you sure you don’t need a place to crash? I’ve got a nice couch.”

“I’m all right.” I watched as a few of my regular drinking buddies sat down to start a round of five card and picked up my drink to go join them.

“If you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask.”

“There is just one thing. You wouldn’t happen to know anybody who works on the Wu estate, would you?”

“Wu?” I could practically hear her thick lips frowning. “Boy, what in the world do you want with the Wu mansion?”

“I’m just tryin’ to keep my dick from being turned into hamburger. You know somebody?”

“What in the world does he want you going in there for?”

“It’s none of your business, Tai.” I slammed down a little more alcohol. “Do you know someone or not?”

She was quiet a while. “The head maid and me went to school together. I could arrange a meeting.”

“Could you arrange it for, say…tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tonight would be better. No later than tomorrow.”

“I could try.”

“Thanks, babe. That’d be a big help.” I flashed a smile at her—the best damn smile I had—and then headed for the five card game.

Tai grabbed my arm. “Gojyo. Please do yourself a favor and stay away from the Wu estate. Those people are so rich…they can do anything they want and probably get away with it.”

I didn’t answer. My whole life it had seemed like anyone could do whatever they wanted to me and get away with it. So what was new about that?

“There’s always a choice,” she reminded me gently.

“Not this time. Not for me. If I don’t do this, Dasha’ll kill me. No, even that would be merciful.”

“Then get away from him. If you run now, maybe he won’t chase you. You don’t owe him that much money.”

“Only a couple thousand.” Owing Dasha a beer ticket was dangerous enough, and I didn’t want to think about how deep I was in.

“Then you should leave tonight.”

I sighed, “It’s just not that simple, Tai. I’ve seen that guy kill over a steak cooked the wrong way.”

“I still think you should try.”

Gently, I shook her off, “Don’t worry about it, okay? Just set up the meeting.”

I knew Tai didn’t like that, but what could I do? I didn’t work a business you just ran out on one day, not if you valued your life.

_Except…I don’t really,_ I thought as I went to join the guys at poker.

They were all “happy” to see me and “concerned” about my injuries. The girls wanted to hang off me and baby me and pet my hair. To any outsider, I figured I looked cool and in control. I probably seemed popular, social, and funny, but inside, for a long time now, I had felt my heart slowly starting to whither away, and when I looked around at the people I was with I noticed scorn in their eyes and disgust on their lips. Even now, I was sickening to them, so imagine how they’d look at me if they found out what I was. Even the kid who bought me lunch today would wrinkle his nose and run the other way if he discovered the truth.

I couldn’t wear this mask forever.


	2. Drowning Lessons-Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gojyo employs Hakkai to help him steal from a rich man.

**Drowning Lessons**

****

**Hakkai**

As Quing had predicted, I received a demerit for going into An Jin, which was composed of two things, the first being a lengthy lecture from the dean of students Professor Hyoka, and the second being confinement to campus for the next week. It wasn’t so bad, all in all. Quing and Liling kept it quiet that they had been there too, and Quing even had the nerve to tell me that he’d told me so. They wanted to know what had happened with the boy I’d met and why I’d been gone for so long, but I told them I chased after them, got separated, and was simply lost in town for a few hours. They seemed to believe me. 

Jing-Sheng did not. 

Jing-Sheng was my room mate, and four years my senior, with a serious demeanor and an incapacity for anything that didn’t somehow involve school. He, like me, had come to this place at an early age, and now he was only a year or so from graduating with his medical degree. 

When I told him the lie about being lost in An Jin all afternoon, he shook his head at me. “The Hakkai I know doesn’t get so much as turned around, let alone lost, but if that’s the story you intend to stick to, I’ll pretend not to know any better.” 

It so derailed me it was all I could do to mumble, somewhat sheepishly, “That would be helpful, thank you.” 

Several days passed, and I resolved to put what had happened in An Jin—including my encounter with Gojyo—out of my mind. I had studies to see to, lessons to learn, and a life to take seriously. My future depended on how well I did at this school, and I would not jeopardize that for anything. 

So, I forgot about the bizarre meeting I’d had and paid attention to my studies. 

I also kept up my search for _her. I watched for her in the halls and searched through the gardens for her. I was ever-vigilant when I took my meals in the refectory, and I asked around about her amongst people I assumed were her peers, but no one ever seemed to know who I was talking about._

Still, I wouldn’t allow that to off-set me. If we were in fact both attending this school, as I knew we were, it would only be a matter of time before we crossed paths, and then my questions would be answered. 

Things, I thought, would continue to run smoothly as long as I kept my head down and didn’t break the rules any further. 

However, on the second day of my probation, something changed that pattern of thinking. 

At early morning, I was sitting in my physiology class. Already the lecture had been in session for nearly two hours, and I was beginning to lose focus out of boredom. After all, the professor was merely covering the basics of the reproduction system, and it was something, I felt, everyone in the class should already understand. If not, what were any of them doing here in the first place? 

He finished detailing the male reproduction system, and then moved on to the female reproduction, concluded by saying, “As far as reproductive organs go, youkai are built identically to humans. That is discussed on page five-hundred and twenty of your text book, but the information is repetitive, so I won’t be going over it.” 

I thought it was a bit miraculous in itself that he recognized the redundancy he would be imposing on us. 

We had finally come to the end of the most boring lecture in all of history, and I was eagerly watching the clock, hoping to be dismissed early, when a rude boy in the back row called out, “Hey, prof! How about hybrids? I heard they got both.” 

With barely concealed annoyance, I looked back at him, and then it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. 

“No way,” the young man next to him argued, nudging him with his elbow. “They don’t have _anything.”_

The two of them had a laugh, and the rest of the class began to murmur. 

Professor Hao cleared his throat. “If by hybrids you are referring to the hanyou—the unholy spawn of a human and a youkai—then I’m sorry to inform you that, never having had the misfortune of coming across one, let alone being provided the disturbing opportunity to examine one, I cannot say with any certainty what _that part of them is like.”_

“Is it in our book?” a girl questioned, thumbing through a few pages. 

“Ugh. Certainly not. Hanyou are not people, and there’s very little reason for anyone to bother studying them, let alone record what they learn.” 

“They’re gross,” someone near me said, knowledgably. “One used to live in the mountains near my home town—it had hair like blood and creepy red eyes.” 

“I’ve heard they can’t procreate,” another student added. 

“All true.” Professor Hao nodded. “But most importantly, class, the Children of Taboo are afflicted with an unbreakable curse. Their very existence is forbidden.” 

_Red hair and eyes Could it be?_

I raised my hand at once, and the Professor called on me momentarily. 

“Excuse me, Professor Hao, but I’d like to know more, if I may take up a moment of your time. Are there any distinguishable features about these…Children of Taboo?” 

He went on to describe that hanyou tended to look more human than youkai, save the vibrant hair and eyes, adding, “They are quite commonplace in a human society, though most humans don’t know a hanyou when they see them, and many don’t even realize they exist—they’re exceedingly rare beasts.” 

He surveyed the class. “I’d like to move away from this rather…appalling topic now, class. There are far more valuable things to discuss.” 

Regardless of what Professor Hao thought, after class I found myself in the school library, poring every book I could find that had even the remotest mention of hanyou, hybrid, or Child of Taboo. I found precious little information—learning nothing that I hadn’t already heard in class—and came across but one photograph. It had been taken of a pair of young children, aged approximately six and four. The elder child was a girl, with human features and pale, blonde hair. The younger, had hair as bright and red as a crisp, ripe apple, and eyes like twin drops of blood. 

_Gojyo…_

I studied the photo a while longer. It was somewhat disturbing, actually. It looked as if the younger child—the hybrid—was dead, a single, bleeding wound in his chest, as if he’d been shot and now lay dying while the other child stood nearby, watching with more curiosity than fear. 

_“…the Children of Taboo are afflicted with an unbreakable curse. Their very existence is forbidden.”_

What sort of curse? 

I thought I might be too curious to not find out. 

Not one hour later, I found myself in An Jin again, a brown paper sack in hand, watching attentively for any sign of him. 

I circled through the seedy part of town, and I felt that all eyes were on me now, but I had dressed down for the trip this time, wearing a pair of jeans and an old sweatshirt I’d borrowed from a class mate, and I had an eight inch hunting knife riding on my hip. Besides, I was nearly sixteen—not a child. 

It was a crisp day, the morning still peaking, and the air smelled of soot and iron and smoke. 

Here and there, when I found a person who looked relatively sane, I’d question them about Gojyo. Mostly, all I got in return was a suspicious look, a terse shake of the head, a brusque no, and they hurried away. It was almost another hour before an old woman, wrapped in filthy, ragged robes, approached me, reaching out with gnarled hands and smiling with a nearly toothless mouth. “Two blocks down,” she rasped. 

I had just been asking a man who appeared to be of an honest, blue collar occupation, if he knew anything about Gojyo, and was rather distracted when she spoke. “I beg your pardon.” 

“The young man you’re looking for. He lives two blocks down. In the Eastern district.” She pointed a long, crooked finger down the street. “Last apartment on the left. Can’t miss it, my boy.” And then she cackled. 

I thanked her, gave her a small amount of money for her help, and continued, but the scene two blocks down was far more dismal than I’d pictured. It was a shabby street with stone buildings built close together, and it reeked of sewage and rotting food. There were a few whorish looking women huddled on the corner, and they flashed hollow smiles at me as I passed. All around me, I heard the sounds of bottles breaking and men shouting. It was such a cluttered, bleak space, I found myself feeling claustrophobic. 

No matter. In another minute or so I stood in front of an unmarked door, the last one on the left side of the block, but when I knocked, no one answered. 

After knocking several times, it became apparent no one was home, so I stood back wondering what to do next. If I left the bag it would be taken before he could come home and find it, but maybe I could leave a note. What would it say? 

“Why are you even doing this, Hakkai?” I asked myself, and then, just as I was starting to leave, the door sprang open. 

“Banri?” 

I turned back to see him standing in the doorway, looking somewhat stunned, cigarette in one hand, beer can in the other. 

“Afraid not. It’s me.” 

“You?” He blinked, and I half-thought he wouldn’t know who I was, and then he said, “Oh. Hey. I didn’t recognize you without your cadet uniform, or whatever it is.” 

“My school uniform actually.” 

“Whatever it is,” he repeated. “Anyway, what are you doing here? I thought we decided moving up was the best direction to go.” 

“Ah, yes, I think we did.” 

“So what’re you doin’ back here? Don’t you know this is as low as it gets?” He cracked that grin again, but today it looked fake, and I noticed his face was bruised and cut. The abrasions were old but nonetheless brutal. 

While we stood there, I studied him all the more closely. He had the same red hair and eyes as the boy I’d seen in the photograph, and the same round ears, and yet he didn’t look any more cursed or taboo than anyone I’d ever seen before. He’d seemed relatively normal when I’d spoken to him at the restaurant. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have much of a good excuse for coming here,” I said slowly, feeling somewhat sheepish at the admission. “Other than I just felt like it…” 

“Damn, you people better build a whore house or a theme park or _something up there in Cheng. It’s gotta be the most boring place in the world if you’re coming down here for fun.” He reconsidered. “Or are ya still lookin’ for that girl?”_

“Yes, that’s it. I’m still searching for my unrequited love and I thought I’d come by to see how you’re doing while I’m at it.” 

“That’s weird.” He leaned against the doorframe. “I barely even know you.” 

“I know. But last I saw, you looked to be in some sort of distress…and I thought…perhaps…you might need some assistance.” 

Gojyo studied me curiously. He looked up and down the road then, like someone else might come along. “Weird.” 

“If this is a bad time, I can leave, of course. If you’re waiting for your friend.” 

“Nah, that dick’s not comin’. But hey, I was just about to take a little walk. Wanna come?” 

“I suppose, if I’m not too much of a liability.” 

Gojyo laughed suddenly. Lightly, he swaggered down the steps, shutting the door behind him without bothering to lock it, and threw his beer bottle into the street, where it shattered. He slung his arm across my shoulder as if we were old friends. “Let’s go.” 

In those bold actions, I found such exotic charm, I didn’t think to protest as he began to guide me up the street. “Where to?” I asked, when we’d journeyed a ways back out of the Eastern district, further and further from the bowels of the slums. I couldn’t deny I was relieved to get away from there. 

“I gotta go up the hill today. Perfect, right? You’re going that way eventually anyway, right?” 

“I suppose so.” 

“And if you really wanna help me out, I could actually use a hand with something. Not a big deal. But if you got the time, that’d be cool.” 

I watched him as he spoke. He seemed to be quite full of confidence and spirit, and his smoking was incessant. There was something about that childish grin and haphazard nature that felt strangely familiar, and he leaned against me as we walked. 

“I don’t see why not.” 

Gojyo grinned all the brighter. “Hey, I’m startin’ to think you’re not such a bad dude.” 

“Oh, _you think _I’m not a bad dude?”__

He removed his arm and rammed me lightly with his shoulder. “Funny, huh? Oh, hey, anyway. I wanted to say sorry about the other day. I was sorta bitchy to you.” 

“You certainly did seem high-strung.” 

Gojyo glanced at me, quizzically. “High-strung… Right… I was a little stressed out.” 

“Perfectly understandable.” Flashing a quick smile, I held up the bag I’d brought. “This is for you.” 

“What is it?” He took it with sudden caution and opened it slowly. 

“It won’t bite,” I informed him, watching out of the corner of my eye as he pulled out the sandwich and the apple I’d brought and turned it over in his hands like he had no idea what it was. “There’s water too. Something tells me you don’t drink enough water.” 

Gojyo gave me a confused look. “What is this?” 

“Most of the world refers to it as lunch, although today it’s still rather early, so it might be considered breakfast.” 

“You makin’ fun of me, man?” He scowled. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Gojyo-san.” 

“I thought I made it clear the other day. I don’t need any freakin’ pity lunches.” 

“You seem to be getting them a lot as of late though. Very well then, I’m hungry. I’ll eat it.” I reached for the sandwich. 

Gojyo snatched it away. “Uhn-uh, I want the sandwich.” 

“It’s a pity sandwich,” I warned him. 

“Yeah, well, I want it anyway. Damn bastard, bringing me food I didn’t ask for. I don’t even know you.” He started cramming the sandwich in his mouth. 

“Yes, I’m _Hakkai, remember? Not man, and certainly not bastard. There now, see? Now you know me.”_

“You’re a fuckin’ riot, Hakkai,” he mumbled. 

“That’s better.” 

We walked a ways further into the more charitable part of town. “Is it any good?” I asked eventually. 

Gojyo just nodded, but I assumed it was better than that, seeing how there was just a scrap of crust left, and he’d already eaten more than half the apple. 

“Sandwiches aren’t my specialty I’m afraid. But bringing something hot was out of the question, even if the weather is appropriate.” 

“I…” he seemed to change his mind about whatever he’d planned to say, took a swig of the water I’d brought, and said instead, “You’re weird, you know that? Don’t your parents care that you’re down here bummin’ around with my ass?” 

“Hm. I highly doubt it. My parents aren’t around.” 

He had nothing to say to that, so I asked for the sake of asking, “What about your parents, Gojyo-san? Where are they?” Based on the sight of him and his hedonistic behavior, I doubted his were around either, but it was possible they were just terribly irresponsible. 

“Dead, I guess.” He’d finished eating and was starting another cigarette. 

“That makes the most sense, I suppose,” I acknowledged quietly. He certainly had the look of a fellow orphan, unruly and hardened to the world. 

“Doesn’t it?” Gojyo was smiling, but I detected something pained in his eyes. 

Again I considered the photograph I’d seen earlier: the blonde child with the small half-breed. “What of that Banri person? Is he your brother or something?” 

“Pfft. Fuck, no. Did that asshole look like my brother. He’s my partner.” 

“And by partner, of course you mean—” 

Quickly, he spat out, “Not like that. Partner in crime. Accomplice. Side-kick. Whatever you wanna call it.” 

Never mind that I had assumed he meant that. “I see.” I pondered it, not mentioning that it had seemed to be the other way around. 

“Anyway…” Gojyo slid a wary look at me, seeming mildly flustered. “Anyway, what does it matter? Parents and brothers and all that shit… Who needs it?” 

Clearly, I’d struck some nerve of his, so even though I thought it was perfectly reasonable to ask someone his age about parents and siblings, I backed off. “I was merely making conversation,” I explained dismissively. Still, normally I would have been annoyed by this time. I had much more important things to do than visit with this erratic strangers, and yet I couldn’t simply walk away and go home. I wondered what had even lured me here in the first place. 

Gojyo stalled suddenly, announcing, “Well, here we are.” 

We had climbed almost to the very top of the hill, leaving the majority of the city behind us, and now we stood on a reddish dirt road that extended out into the wild, with grasslands sweeping out on every side, and the blue sky looked like it went on forever. Light wind feathered refreshingly across my face, blowing lazy clouds across the horizon. I stood there in the calm and breathed deeply, and suddenly I felt as if I’d left everything in my life behind me: the orphanage, the parents who hadn’t loved me enough to stay, the sister I might never see again, the God that had abandoned me, and for once I was just myself, facing a bright, hopeful world. 

“It’s beautiful up here,” I murmured. 

“Yeah,” he said with equal softness, and he was staring out into the sky too, a look of deep yearning on his face as the wind blew back his red tendrils of hair. That expression seemed as if it reflected the emotions I felt inside, and for just a moment it was all strangely familiar to me, as if we had stood here before, the two of us. 

The familiarity was a powerful feeling, and I found myself gripped by the urge to say something genuine to him. 

“What do you do up here?” I asked quietly, thinking perhaps this was a place he came to for solitude and reflection, an escape from his grungy, chaotic life. It would be a nice spot, I thought, to simply lie down on the grass and watch the sky and talk, sometimes about subjects deep and profound, and sometimes about subjects as frivolous and blithe as what shapes the clouds resembled. It seemed, suddenly, to be the perfect location to cultivate the type of tender and complex friendships I’d witnessed between all the other children around me at the orphanage. I’d never longed for that before—the other orphans were prattling idiots—but something about the moment, and the view, and the company awoke a desire for companionship in me, and I thought the emerald grasslands and distant hills would be an ideal place for two adolescent boys to explore, and have adventures, and become friends. 

But Gojyo turned to me, one eyebrow cocked in bewilderment. “Umm… Nothing. I never come up here.” And then he faced away from the wide and the open, and I noticed a stone wall alongside the road. “All right, good thing you didn’t wear your Sunday best today, choir boy.” 

Bewildered, I fumbled with my words, “Ah. Wait. You mean to say…” 

“Up and over.” He was already jumping up. He caught the low-hanging branch of a nearby tree and nimbly hoisted himself up onto the wall. 

Dubiously, I watched “…I’m not sure—” 

“Hey, you wanted to help.” 

Several seconds passed, and I felt like a fool. My previous thoughts had been almost romantic in nature, and reflecting on them made my cheeks glow with warmth. Stonily, I told him, “I didn’t want to help you break and enter into this place.” 

“Shoulda been more specific in the first place.” He knelt down and held out his hand anyway. “You comin’ or not?” 

Sighing, I looked back toward An Jin. It would be smart to simply walk away and go home. I had homework, and I was on probation, and I needed to study so I could do well and pass my classes and start building a life for myself. 

Smart yes, but also boring, and I had to admit I was curious, not only about the wall, but about him. 

I boosted myself up to grab his hand, and he pulled me up. By the time I stood beside him on the wall, he was grinning crookedly, an expression I didn’t know what to make of, but I thought I may have surprised or even impressed him. 

On the other side of the wall was a large chunk of property—fifteen or twenty acres if I had to guess. I found myself on a narrow, cobblestone path surrounded by fountains, exotic trees, flower beds and marble statues. Ahead of us I saw several rows of tall hedges which appeared to create some sort of a maze. 

Gojyo leapt down and led the way into the labyrinth calmly, as if he belonged there. 

“What is this place?” I asked. 

“Welcome to the Wu estate, home to the richest man in town Wu Shareta.” 

The name seemed oddly familiar, but if he was the richest man in the area, I’d probably heard people discussing him. 

“According to rumors, he lives here with his wife _and his mistress. Isn’t that crazy? Imagine the cat fights that go on.”_

“I’m astounded,” I mumbled, but not about his trivial rumor. “What are we doing here?” 

“I came to pick something up from old man Wu.” 

We wandered through the labyrinth a little longer before I asked, “If this is a legit pick up, why on earth did we come over the fence, apparently as far from the front door as we could possibly get?” 

“It’s a long story. Besides.” He took a sudden right, stopped, crouching down at the base of one of the hedges. “I never said it was a legit pick up.” 

“What does that mean?” I demanded, even though I was sure I already knew. 

“Means we better not let anybody know we’re here.” He leveled a serious gaze on me. “You game?” 

I hardly believed the circumstances I’d found myself in, but now that I was here, I didn’t think I could just leave. “Yes. I suppose I’d better be.” 

“That’s not too reassuring. Here.” He tossed me a small walkie-talkie device. “We’re gonna need these.” With that, he pulled back the leaves of the hedge, and I saw that someone had already come and cut out the branches, leaving a gap for us to use as an entrance. Gojyo crawled through it on his hands and knees, and I followed. 

“That was certainly convenient,” I commented as I got to my feet again, brushing my pants off. 

“Hell no it wasn’t _convenient,” Gojyo objected at once. “I had to come out here and cut that shit myself—I was out here all damn night.”_

I glanced around. We were out of the maze now, and in the far away distance stood a large house with a looping drive way and a gigantic lake in front of it. There were approximately three acres of land between us and the mansion. 

“That’s quite a distance of open space to cross. And you say no one is supposed to know we’re here?” 

“Right, but we ain’t goin’ in there, smarty. We’re going over there.” He pointed to a smaller house—granted, it was still a three-story building—that was only a short distance from us. “We gotta go in there. I do anyway.” 

I questioned my choices as we snuck along the wall ducking behind bushes whenever we happened to come to one. I felt that we were utterly exposed, and Mr. Wu had only to look out his bedroom window to see that two young men were sneaking around on his property. To make matters worse, it was broad daylight. 

“I wonder why you didn’t choose a better time of day for this covert operation. Perhaps at night, when people are asleep and there’s darkness to use as cover.” 

“Jeez, you’re a real know-it-all aren’t ya?” 

“You said you were here all night anyway, right?” 

“Yeah, but I was here by myself. I was hoping Banri would show up today.” 

“Perhaps if you’d waited even longer, he might have come.” 

“I don’t have a lot of time to do this, okay?” He sounded vaguely impatient. Then he lowered his voice considerably, because we were less than a hundred feet from the house. He crouched behind a tree trunk, and I pressed in against him. “’Kay, here’s the plan, kid. I’m goin’ through that window right there on the corner. All I need you to do is keep watch. So you’re gonna climb up in this tree—try ta’ keep out of sight—and pay attention. If it looks like somebody’s about to come in the room, or like they know I’m here, let me know.” 

“Hence the walkie talkies.” 

“Exactly. Think you can do it?” 

“It sounds like I have the easier half of the job.” 

“Yeah, but…” His eyes narrowed on me. “You ain’t gonna cop out on me or nothin’, right?” 

I _should. This was not a valuable way to spend my time…_

“No. You’d better hurry now.” I began climbing the tree, reaching up and finding a hand-hold right away. “Someone’s liable to notice us before long.” 

As he ducked away and ran for the house, I wondered again why I was doing this. I barely knew him, I knew literally nothing about what he was doing here, or why, and I had lived my life with a clean record so far. I had offered my assistance, but I had intended to assist in more legal ways. Now that I thought about it, I wasn’t quite sure what I thought I could do for Gojyo. I suppose I’d thought bringing him food would suffice; most people would just take it ad pretend to be grateful. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything. Perhaps I should have stayed at school. 

No matter. I was here now, and I had to admit, it was more exciting than what I would have normally done during my break between classes. 

When I’d climbed high enough and felt confident that I had a good view of the situation, I settled back against the trunk and observed. 

Gojyo had reached the house and was standing by the window he intended to go through, watching me. 

I waved to him; he nodded and turned around to shove the window open. A second later, he’d slipped inside. The room he entered appeared to be quite large—some sort of sitting room, I assumed—and he immediately crossed to the far wall where a row of portraits were hung, perfectly straight. He checked a few before finally taking one down, and I saw a safe with a combination lock. It looked like he was going to crack the code. 

Hopefully that wouldn’t take too long. I surveyed the house again. It looked empty. In fact, the entire estate seemed almost abandoned. There was a maid cleaning in the room directly above him, but she was busy, and there was no one else to jeopardize the operation. 

I’m not sure why I felt good about that. It was becoming clearer and clearer to me that I was helping a criminal break in and steal something from the wealthiest man in An Jin. 

_Maybe not. It’s possible that he has some noble reason for what he’s doing. Or at the very least, a good reason._

That wasn’t like people—people were greedy and untrustworthy, and yet, apparently, I was determined to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

Gojyo was patiently turning the lock now, ear close to the safe. It looked like something he’d done before. 

I scanned the rest of the estate. The breeze had picked up, rattling through the leaves and brushing over the grass. The sun felt good on my skin. In the distance, I saw a figure moving across the yard. It looked like whoever it was had a dog with them, and they were coming this way. 

“Gojyo-san,” I spoke into the walkie-talkie. “Do you copy? Over.” 

“Yeah, what?” was the scratchy reply. 

“I see a man. He looks like some sort of guardsman, and he’s coming this way. Over.” 

“Shit. How close is he?” 

“Far enough that you should be able to get out in time. Provided you’re done shortly. Over.” 

“Quit it with that over shit, would’ja? This ain’t the military.” 

“Are you almost finished? Over.” 

He sighed, “Yeah, yeah, gime a second. How’s the house look?” 

“Secure. There’s a maid upstairs, but I don’t see anyone…” I broke off, noticing for the first time that there was a dark figure in the window to the right of the room Gojyo was in. He seemed to be talking into some sort of device. 

“Hey. Hello?” 

“Wait a minute. I see a man. He wasn’t there a moment ago… Over.” 

“Where is he?” 

“In the room next to yours. Don’t panic…but I think he may know you’re there. Over.” 

“Don’t panic? What’s that supposed to mean?” 

Now more figures were appearing across the yard. They were coming out of nowhere—half a dozen of them at least—some with dogs, marching steadily in formation. 

“You’d better hurry: there are more guards coming. Over.” 

“I’m doin’ the best I can, dude… Shit. I think I heard a voice.” 

“Yes, the man in the window is gone. It looks as if he’s left the room. He may or may not be moving toward you now.” 

“May or may not? Which is it?” 

“How should I know?” I strained to keep calm. “I’m in a tree—I’m not a spy.” 

“Crap, crap, crap.” Gojyo’s body stiffened. He glanced from the safe to the door again and again, spinning the lock jerkily. 

The men in the yard were getting closer. I assumed the front door was on the other side of the building. “They’re going to enter the house in approximately ninety seconds. Gojyo-san, this isn’t just a prank or something stupid, right? Over.” 

He didn’t answer. I saw him mumbling, but he wasn’t talking into the walkie anymore. 

“Do you copy me? Over.” 

The men in the yard were jogging now, heading straight around the house, and I had to duck back to make sure I wouldn’t be seen. “They’re not going through the front door—not all of them. Some appear to be heading for the back door. Gojyo? Do you copy? I said—” 

“Got it! Got it!” In the house he wrenched the safe open, reached deep inside, and pulled something out, bright and golden. “Whoo!” 

A handful of men, clad all in black, had already entered the back door. They were armed with guns. 

“Get out of there,” I said tensely. 

No sooner had I spoken, the door to the room he was in burst open, and a wave of people rushed in. They were mostly guardsmen, flagging him with their rifles, their dogs snapping and straining against their leashes. A tall man in a tuxedo stood to the side, staring straight out the window at me. He said something to the guards. 

Gojyo bolted, running full-tilt for the window. 

The men unleashed the dogs, and they ran, snarling, after him. 

“Good heavens.” I dropped out of the tree, landing a little roughly, and rolled to my feet. 

By the time I was up, Gojyo had dove through the window. He hit the ground running, stolen prize clutched in is hand. “Run, run, run, run, run!” he screamed, blurring past me. 

I didn’t waste time looking back—I sprinted after him, nearly dropping my walkie, and in a matter of seconds I was beside him. 

We raced back the way we’d come, weaving around the same bushes and statues we’d taken cover behind earlier, going straight for the hole in the maze. Gojyo slid the last couple feet and squirmed through in a matter of seconds. I squeezed through after him, feeling a branch scraped my neck and shoulder. 

“Let’s go, let’s go!” He jerked me to my feet, and we weaved through the maze, back the way we’d come. I heard the dogs howling behind us as they struggled to get through the gap in the hedge as well. 

Gojyo rounded a corner, skidded to a halt, and I collided with him. We both strained to keep our balance, and I saw that we’d come to a dead end. “Fuck!” 

“This way! Back this way!” I gave his sleeve a jerk, feet pounding on the stone path as I backtracked a ways. 

The dogs were coming right at us. They had gleaming, white teeth and mean eyes. One lunged at us. 

“Fuck you!” Gojyo kicked it in the muzzle, and the dog flew back. 

Voices cried, lifting up over the hedge next to us, “They’re over here! Hurry!” 

“Don’t let them escape!” 

I shoved Gojyo forward, and we weaved past the next two dogs. I felt teeth snap right beside my leg, barely managed to evade a painful bite, and rounded a corner quickly. 

We scrambled around another corner. The men’s voices were closer. 

“I’m followin’ you!” Gojyo informed me suddenly. “I can’t remember how the fuck to get out of here!” 

“But…You were here last night!” 

“Yeah. I was lost in this damn place for like two hours!” 

That gave me the strangest urge to laugh. How bizarre—I almost never felt like laughing, and I especially shouldn’t right now. 

“Here.” I pushed Gojyo against the hedge, and he fell into it with a squawk and a shower of leaves. 

“What the fuck, man?” 

“Boost me up on your shoulders. Hurry.” 

“Hey, no way, you ain’t leavin’ me here to—” 

“Do it!” 

From the look on his face, I could see there was nothing in the world he wanted less, but he swore under his breath and dipped down low enough for me to scramble up on his back, and from there I was able to pull myself on top of the hedge. I was lucky it was solid enough to stand on. 

“Dude!” 

“Don’t dude me,” I snapped, reaching down to drag him up as well, seconds before a dog would have had him. 

Gojyo screamed and kicked the animal square in the chest. It yelped and went sprawling on the ground. 

“Up there!” someone shouted. 

The men were right below us now. They took aim. “Stop!” 

I ran. 

Gojyo ran. 

I could see the tree we’d used to come over ahead of us now, took a running leap and cleared the gap between two hedges, and Gojyo landed beside me. Gun fire echoed through the air. 

“They’re shooting at us!” I yelled. 

Gojyo laughed, “No shit, genius.” 

We had to jump over two more hedges, and then the tree was right in front of me. I took the biggest leap yet, hit the tree hard, scrabbling at the branch, and dropped down onto the wall. 

Gojyo nearly missed the branch. It looked like he scraped most the skin off his palms when he managed to get a grip. “Fuuuuck!” He landed on the wall next to me. 

More gunfire. This time, I felt a bullet hiss past my ear. 

“Come on!” Gojyo grabbed me by the sleeve and dragged me over the wall. We landed in a heap on the other side. I got the wind knocked out of me, had to ignore it, got up a little more slowly than before. 

Already, Gojyo was up, careening back down the hill, kicking up a cloud of dust. “C’mon, dude, c’mon!” 

Sucking in a somewhat painful breath, I followed. 

We ran for what felt like forever. Eventually, he cut off from the road, jagging due west across the long grass. I followed, feeling a rush of exhilaration as the wind blew back through my hair and clothes. We seemed be running straight down the hill now, side by side. 

Gojyo lost his footing with a yelp. 

I watched in astonishment as he stumbled, fought to keep upright, and then went flying down the hill, face-first. He hit hard and bounced once. 

I weaved to the left, attempting to jump over him, but my foot caught on his leg, and then I was falling head over heels too. I smashed into the ground with a rough cough, and rolled. I bounced over rocks and bushes, felt my arms and torso bruise, grasped at roots and bushes and grass, but that only succeeded in scraping my hands. By the time I stopped rolling it was only because I’d reached the bottom of the hill, feeling dizzy. 

Gojyo crashed into my side with an abrupt, “Shit.” 

The sky above me looked flawless as I was lying there, and in a second, when I had caught my breath, I said, “Well…I got to lie on the grass. After all.” 

He laughed suddenly. It started as a chuckle, almost out of relief, I thought, but in a matter of moments, he was rolling and holding his side. 

Bewildered, I sat up on my elbows and watched him, wondering, inevitably, if this Child of Taboo was totally insane. 

Gojyo went on laughing, turned onto his side, and pounded the ground. “Shit on a goddamn stick! We almost died!” 

“Yes, I think that’s an apt description of it.” I reached up to feel my ear, making sure the bullet hadn’t actually grazed it. 

He rolled a little longer, and kept laughing, but it slowly died down, and then he stretched out on his back again, gazing up at the sky. “They following us?” 

I redirected my own gaze back up the hill, but I didn’t see any sign of dogs or men. Chances were they wouldn’t be able to get the dogs over the wall in the first place, and most of them probably wouldn’t want to try to climb it themselves. “No, I don’t see anyone.” 

“Great!” Gojyo sat straight up, leaves and grass and twigs clinging to his hair, his face and clothes coated in dust. “It worked! You didn’t cop out on me!” 

“Of course I didn’t,” I sniffed. 

“Hey, a lot of people would have.” He grinned at me, gave me a heavy pound on the back, and then lit a cigarette. “You’re all right, Hakkai… you’re…you’re cool.” 

“That’s gracious of you to think so. May I see the spoils?” 

Grinning all the more, he lifted his hand and a golden medallion fell out of it, dangling by the fine chain twined around his fingers. It was about twice the size of a hundred-yen coin, and there was a huge amethyst stone set in the middle of it. I watched it swing back and forth and spin, feeling somewhat entranced by it. 

As I was staring into the glossy stone, something happened. It was as if I were suddenly transported to another time and place. A dark, cold place. I could feel the rain beating down on my skin, drenching my clothes and my hair. There was something else too. Hot. Thick. Sticky. 

Blood. 

I was screaming. I was crying. But why? 

Lightning crackled in the sky above me. I saw a castle, black against the stormy night sky. 

In that flash, I saw my hands as well, bathed in crimson and rain, but there was something wrong with them. Something that shouldn’t have been there. 

_Claws…_

“Hey, Hakkai?” 

I blinked, and then I was back at the bottom of the hill, dry and warm in the sun, Gojyo looking at me curiously. 

_What was that?_

I took a deep breath, blinked at the amethyst again, but the vision was gone, leaving only a horrible sensation of despair and foreboding. 

“What in the world is it?” 

“Dunno.” 

“Then why did you go through so much trouble to get it?” 

“It’s supposed to save my life or something.” He looped it over his neck and let it hang down, just below his ribs. “Pretty bad ass, huh?” 

Something seemed to have changed about him. He was acting…friendlier, I thought, smiling more, as if he’d loosened up. I wondered if it was because he’d put his trust in me and hadn’t been disappointed. 

“I don’t think the purple and gold suit you,” I answered mildly. 

“Ha ha, very funny. I guess it probably suits _you_ , huh, green eyes?” 

“It might, yes.” 

Still chuckling, he got up. “You’re kinda weird, you know that? You don’t smile much. ” 

“So I’ve been told.” I stood too, and for another moment we were there under the sky, on the grass, with the sun blazing around us, and that haunting familiarity stole back into me, and I realized I’d helped him out of more than recklessness and unbearable boredom. 

He looked at me, and I looked at him, and we locked gazes a while, and then, for some reason, I couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was almost a compulsion, something I did out of reaction and instinct, as opposed to obligation, as was so often the case for me. 

“There ya go. You’re getting it now, frowny-face. We’ll make a smiler outta you yet.” He tucked the medallion into his shirt, hiding the chain around his neck with the hood of his sweatshirt. “Listen, I gotta take off now—I got a deadline to meet, kind of—but you can find your way home from here, right? Shouldn’t be that far.” 

I turned to the west again, where I saw the faint skyline of Cheng, scraping at the blue, high up on the next hill. “Yes, I think I’ll be all right.” 

“Cool, then. Be safe.” 

“You, too.” 

Gojyo’s grin got that much bigger, and he punched me lightly in the shoulder. “By the way, thanks a lot for your help. I’d probably be a dead man by now if you hadn’t come along.” 

“Think nothing of it… I…I’m glad I came, even if I don’t fully understand.” 

“Believe me, you don’t wanna understand.” He laughed again, and then gave a short wave. “Well, see ya around, right? You should come down again when you get the chance—we’ll do somethin’ fun.” 

“Oh, this wasn’t supposed to be fun?” 

“I dunno about you, but I like it when my ass doesn’t almost get ripped off by killer dogs. I mean it though, dude. Look me up some time.” 

“I will,” as soon as the words were out, I realized I meant them. “Take care of yourself, Gojyo.” 

“Always.” 

With that, he walked away, and I turned to begin climbing up the hill to Cheng. Once, as I was going, I looked over my shoulder at him; he was already a smallish figure in the distance, red hair seeming to blaze in the sunlight, but he was looking back at me as well, and he gave another wave before continuing on his way. 

I felt another genuine smile tug at the corners of my mouth. 


	3. Drowning Lessons - Hills

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gojyo and Hakkai become friends.

**Gojyo**

I whistled the whole way back to An Jin. So far, my day was going pretty good; I had the medallion ahead of schedule, I was up early, and I was full. I wasn’t hungry anyway, and that was a nice change of pace for me. I hadn’t had to do the Wu job all by myself like I’d expected to. 

Hakkai coming along this morning turned out to be the best thing that could happen. When I’d first heard him knock on the door, I’d been lying in bed, still clutching my leftover beer from last night. I’d fallen asleep in my jeans and hoodie, worrying about going to Wu all alone, and when I’d heard someone knocking my half-asleep brain had jumped to the conclusion that it must be Banri, even though he never would have knocked at his own front door. 

Finding Hakkai standing outside my apartment had been a weird shock, and for a moment I’d almost been annoyed by the interruption, until I’d realized that, if nothing else, I might be able to get him to act as a lookout for me, especially if I didn’t tell him exactly what we were doing. 

But throughout the heist, I’d felt worse and worse about involving him, and by the time we had to run from the dogs, it occurred to me that I’d feel real shitty if I got the kid killed. 

All the same, he’d really helped me out, and he might even come back again some time. I don’t know why he should after what I got him into, but he acted like he might want to, and I kinda wanted him to. 

_I can keep usin’ that kid for a while, probably._

As soon as I’d had the thought, I felt guilty all over again. I didn’t want to think that was my only reason for wanting him to come around again, but hey, it wasn’t my fault really. He wanted to help—he’d said so. 

I stopped whistling, shoving my hands into my pockets and thinking all the harder. After what we did this morning, he’d have to be crazy to come back again—I’d get him in more trouble. That made me wonder if he had some ulterior motive for showing up. For all I knew, when we’d first met the other day he’d been scheming something. He could be a spy or a con artist. 

What did I have that he’d want though? 

I knew I was involved in some pretty heavy stuff; shit, running around with people like Banri and Dasha, I was up to my eyeballs in trouble I couldn’t get out of, so I probably shouldn’t be surprised if Hakkai turned out to be an enemy in disguise. Not having much to take advantage of didn’t mean someone wouldn’t try it. 

Right now, I didn’t want to think about that though. It might ruin my perfect day. So I headed to Dasha’s place. It was just a little bit after twelve, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the boss was still sleeping, draped in hookers. As I stalked through the hallway, I kept my eyes peeled for Banri, but he wasn’t around. Bang Wang and Hung followed me a ways and gave me some shit, but I was in too good a mood to pay attention, and they went away when I got to Dasha’s door anyway. 

Now as long as Dasha didn’t decide to blow me away today, because he’d had a bad trip or contracted an std last night, things would be looking really, really up. I might even be able to get out of this shitty town soon. 

I knocked as loudly as I dared. “Hey, boss? It’s Gojyo. I got the thing you wanted.” 

There was a moment of silence, and then his creepy voice called back, “Enter.” 

Such a freak of nature. 

Dasha’s room was just like him: it was dark, cold, and creepy. Once, it had been the stage room for the theater. The psycho had set up a throne on the stage so he could feel like a king when people came to see him, and he’d draped a huge curtain across the half the room, dividing his sleeping area from everything else. It was ridiculously bare, and there was always this eerie, red cast in the room. 

Going inside gave me chills. 

He sat on his throne-thing, half-dressed, with an equally naked slut giving him a shoulder massage. A couple of his guys were there, keeping watch or video taping or whatever it was they did; they looked up when I came in, but then lost interest. It’s just stupid, little Gojyo. 

I marched up what had once been the aisle, doing my best not to look nervous. When I first met Dasha, he didn’t scare me. I’d been through so much, I didn’t see why he should, and that drove him crazy. Ever since he beat the hell out of me the other day though, I’d started realizing he was dangerous, and maybe I needed to watch myself around him. 

I couldn’t help wondering if Hakkai would be scared. Today, I’d been so sure he was going to wuss out on me and run away when things got rough, but he’d been pretty calm for the whole thing. I got the feeling he was tougher than he looked. 

“Well, well, well,” Dasha said lazily. “I was expecting someone to tell me you’d skipped town last night.” 

“What would I do that for? I got your trinket. It was easy.” I mounted the stairs up to the stage and pulled the medallion from my neck, dangling it in front of his face. 

Immediately, he snatched it away, staring into the stone like it was going to show him something. After a moment, he hissed, “I’ll admit, I’m surprised. Impressed even.” 

“Yep, you’re welcome. This means we’re all good now, right? We’re even?” 

Instead of answering, Dasha got up and walked across the stage, still staring at his stupid necklace. 

I waited anxiously. I really needed to hear him say yes. I needed to hear him say “we’re even.” Why wasn’t he saying it? “Dasha?” 

My heart started to beat a little faster. _Why isn’t he saying it?_

Finally, he turned back to me, giving me that weird smile of his. “Excellent work, my little hanyou. You know, I’ve been thinking I may have been too hard on you the other day.” 

I watched warily as he started coming toward me. “Uh. Oh, yeah?” 

“After all, you’re clearly still a child, and mistakes are inevitable.” 

My stomach twisted up—I didn’t like his hissing sly voice, and I didn’t trust what he was saying. Dasha just wasn’t that forgiving. I especially didn’t like that he was calling me out on being a kid. 

“It occurred to me later that sending you alone may have been a bit too harsh, so I found something for you to do that I think you’ll find more suiting. You might even call it fun.” 

“Fun?” I echoed incredulously and glanced over my shoulder, feeling like I’d walked into a trap. 

“Yes. You would like to have some fun, wouldn’t you?” With a sweep of his hand, he summoned a scroll into being, let it roll open and showed it to me. 

It looked like a list, with about five different things on it, weird things like, ruby dagger and enchanted flower. 

Reluctantly, I took it from him, reading out loud, “Ancient book, goddess’s ring, hey, what is all this shit?” 

Dasha sighed, dropping back into his throne. “Silly child. It’s a scavenger hunt. Haven’t you ever been on a scavenger hunt before?” 

It seemed like once, a long time ago, Jien and I had done something like that…with a bunch of kids from our neighborhood. We hadn’t gotten very far though, and I didn’t remember it being all that fun. Probably because I’d gotten kicked out of the game and locked in an old shed. 

“Maybe,” I muttered. 

“This is a special scavenger hunt. These items are exceedingly rare and unique, but they can all be found in this region. Now what do you think of that?” 

“Sounds a little too convenient.” 

“You might say so. Or you might say our timing is perfect.” He flashed a toothy grin. “In any case, you did such a fine job retrieving my medallion, I think you’re the perfect…er…that is, I think you’ll excel.” 

I noticed he’d gone out of his way to not call me a person. I wondered if he’d made it that obvious on purpose. 

“The best part is, there’s no pressure whatsoever. No rush. Get the items at your leisure, and have fun doing it.” 

Okay, this was getting weird. I looked the list over again. What did a scumbag like Dasha want with all this mystical-sounding trash? 

He reached out and grabbed my chin, jerking my head up. “There is only one condition: don’t even think of keeping any of the items for yourself. I promise you that will be tempting.” 

For a second, I wondered if I should decline. Maybe Tai was right and I should just get away from Dasha while I didn’t owe him anything. 

“I know what you’re thinking: what’s in it for me, am I right? Well, I’ll tell you what, boy. Bring these things to me, and I’ll give you the thing you want the most in this world.” 

At last, I jerked out of his grip. “What would you know about that?” 

“Let’s just say a little birdie told me.” He smiled, and it seemed freakier than usual. I might go so far as to say it was sinister. 

But for all I knew, he meant he was giving me a blank check, and in that case, I couldn’t afford to pass up the opportunity. “’Kay. I’ll get your weird grocery list.” 

“I thought you’d be interested.” He sat back again. “I’m glad to hear it. Now though, you’ll have to run along. I have a lot to do today.” 

I was eager to get away from him anyway, and I walked quickly back down the aisle, was almost out when he called out, “Remember, Gojyo. Don’t fail me.” 

How hard could it be? 

When I was in the sunlight again, I read through the list one more time. Four things. It couldn’t be that hard. 

_Ancient book, enchanted flower, goddess’s ring, ruby dagger. None of it made any sense, but I’d figure it out along the way, and when it was over, Dasha was going to give me the thing I wanted most._

_Maybe I’ll finally get to find Jien…_

My heart beat a little faster at the thought of being reunited with my brother, but I shook my head and tucked the scroll into my hoodie pocket. It would be dumb to get all hopeful about that. 

Then again…Dasha had connections I didn’t have. He might actually be able to find my brother. 

_We’ll just have to find out._

Dasha’s bizarre project wasn’t the only thing on my mind though. From the second I walked away from Hakkai up on Oka no Wu, I was waiting for him to come back, and I couldn’t figure out why. At first, I told myself it was because whenever I saw him he gave me free food, but I knew that wasn’t the real reason. 

I went back and forth thinking he’d be easy to take advantage of, and then feeling guilty for even considering it, but in the end, I didn’t think it was about that either. 

Maybe it was because I was a pathetic, lonely hanyou who had to get a new whore every night so he wouldn’t feel like killing himself. 

Or maybe I just liked the kid and thought it would be cool to have someone my age to hang out with. 

Everyone around me was older and they thought I was trash. Even Banri always acted like he had somewhere better to go and something more important to do. I didn’t even see him for the next week or so, which sucked, because I was toying with the idea of asking him to help me get the shit for Dasha. He’d want to split the reward though, and I’d rather have it all to myself. 

But, if I had to pick between Banri coming home and Hakkai coming to visit, I definitely wanted it to be Hakkai. 

The two times I’d seen him, he hadn’t treated me like trash. He’d been down-to-earth and easy to talk to. Part of me felt like I’d known him forever, and it would be cool to have that feeling again, to have someone to actually be friends with. I didn’t even care if he was a spy or an undercover enemy, I just wanted someone to hang out with. To pretend to be friends with. I just wanted… 

Anyway, when he came back…if he ever came back, I had to make sure he didn’t find out about me. 

I went home from Dasha’s place and stood in my bathroom, staring into the filthy mirror, pulled my hair back so I could look at the scars and see my disgusting, red eyes. I was living in a town where humans made up most of the population, so a lot of people didn’t recognize I was a Child of Taboo, but those who did either stayed as far from me as they could, or treated me like shit for it. If Hakkai came back, and he figured out somehow that I was a hanyou, he’d look down his nose at me and order me around, just like everyone else did. He was rich already, so he was probably used to making people do whatever he wanted. 

As much as I hated taking orders, I’d take it if I knew he wasn’t totally sickened by me. 

Days passed though, and he didn’t come. I wandered around town—drinking and gambling and fucking chicks way too old for me—but I kept my eyes open for him, and sometimes I even thought I saw him, but I was always wrong. Toward the middle of the week, the weather turned bad, and for days on end there was nothing but freezing drizzle, and I knew no one in their right mind would come down from Cheng in crappy weather. I still stood by my window and looked out. 

_It doesn’t matter, I told myself, eventually. _He’s not comin’ back.__

There was just no reason why he should. 

By Friday, the weather was good again, so I did a little investigating about Dasha’s list, asking around, hoping I’d stumble into someone who knew something. I knew that the crazy-ass had said there wasn’t a hurry, but I didn’t quite believe him. Besides, I had my own reasons for wanting to get it done quickly. 

When two weeks had passed, I’d pretty much given up on Hakkai coming around, and I told myself it didn’t really matter anyway. If he showed up eventually, great. If not, well, that was life. 

And then, it seemed like as soon as I had that thought, there he was. 

I was bumming around in the market, smoking and checking out chicks, trying to decide if I should spend what little money I had left on food, or find a nice, fat pocket to pick, when he came and stood over my shoulder. 

At first, I turned to give my typical back off glare, and then I saw it was him. “Woah. Hey, man.” 

“Konnichiwa,” he grumbled, frowning around at the people closest to us, like he didn’t really care for standing in such a deep crowd. I noticed most of them steered clear of him, and I couldn’t blame them. He radiated such an unfriendly vibe, I wondered if he might just walk away from me. 

“What’re you doing down here? I wasn’t expecting to run into you.” 

“As if we simply ran into each other. I’ll have you know I’ve spent a good hour and a half trying to find you.” He sounded a little annoyed, and again, it left me not knowing what to do or expect. 

“My bad. I didn’t really think you’d come…” 

“I would have come sooner, but I got in a bit of trouble for coming down here last week, and I thought I’d best lie low for a while.” 

“In trouble? With who?” 

“The school faculty.” 

“Cheng High?” 

“University.” 

“Ohh.” I looked him over in a new light. From what I heard about Cheng University, it was pretty prestigious, and if he was in college at his age he must be really smart. Maybe his parents pushed him through a few grades or something. “That’s weird. I thought college was about cutting loose and finding yourself.” 

“College is about education and earning a degree so that you can proceed into a respectable career, actually. Semantics aside, typically you’re right; Cheng is a different sort of school though. They’re very enthusiastic about discipline and proper behavior and such.” 

“And good grammar, and stuffy clothes, and not smiling too much.” I laughed. 

Hakkai didn’t look like it was even slightly funny, and I got the feeling he didn’t want to talk about school. 

It made me feel like I was an entire dimension away from him, so I didn’t either. I dropped it. “Anyway, you didn’t have to come back. Not if you’re gonna get in trouble for it.” 

“Nonsense. I don’t think it’s all that serious. It’s worth it, in fact—in Cheng, I always find myself feeling bored, and you’re the only interesting person I’ve met since I started going there almost two years ago.” 

I whistled. “That’s pretty sad.” 

“I think so too.” 

“I still can’t believe An Jin is that much more interesting than Cheng, but we can probably find something to do.” I thought about asking him to help me find the stuff for Dasha but decided I’d better not. I didn’t want to take advantage of him. 

We started picking our way through the crowd, and Hakkai stayed so quiet and watchful he actually made me a little nervous, and I found myself chewing on my cigarette. 

“So…you don’t seem real happy to see me,” I teased in a while, just wanting to break the silence. 

“Oh, it’s not that. I’ve been pondering something all morning, and I have a question about our adventure from last time. What in the world was that all about?” 

“That. Just had to do a pick-up for my boss.” 

“Your boss asks you to steal things?” 

“I know, I know, it ain’t glamorous, but it does put food on the table, and sometimes, a chick in the bed.” 

I expected to hear some bullshit, judgmental spiel about how wrong that was, but instead he asked, “Did he actually send you to do that alone?” 

“Nah, not really. Banri was supposed to help me, but that good-for-nothing never showed. Anyway, it doesn’t matter—I can take care of myself.” 

Hakkai gave me a serious look. “You know, if you’d gone by yourself, they probably would have caught you.” 

That was true, but I didn’t want to think about it, and I didn’t need this kid telling me how to do my job. “If I’d gone by myself, I would have done it differently.” 

“Still—” 

“Hey, don’t worry about it, all right? It’s not your problem.” 

He frowned but muttered, “I suppose you’re right.” 

“No shit I’m right. Now let’s drop this crap and go do somethin’ fun.” 

“Very well. I can’t say I’m the expert on fun, but something tells me you might be.” 

“That’s right, frowny face.” I slammed him on the back. “Stick with me.” 

After that, Hakkai was always with me. The first few times we hung out, I told myself I just needed somebody to kill time with; I was bored, and Hakkai was extremely different from everyone I knew. I figured we’d get annoyed or sick of each other, or he’d find out I was a hanyou, and we’d stop hanging out. I thought we’d see each other every now and then, when I had absolutely nothing better to do. 

But it didn’t go like that. Every time I saw him, I felt that I liked him a little bit more, and in a while, I couldn’t even kid myself about just killing time with him; I wasn’t anywhere close to annoyed with him. 

He stood out from everyone else in my life, and he treated me so much better than any of them did, and I genuinely wanted to hang out with him. Before long, I felt like it would actually bother me if he got sick of me, or if he found out about my dirty secret, got disgusted, and went away, and I decided I had to do everything in my power to hide it from him. 

Hakkai was weird. Supposedly his school didn’t want him coming to An Jin at all, but he showed up two or three times a week, usually in the middle of the day during his break between classes; on the weekends he’d come early, and we’d hang out all day. He must not have cared much about the rules to begin with, and when I asked him about it he just said it was worth the trouble. I didn’t get that, and at first I expected him to ask for something, but he never did. 

Of course, he was totally out of place in An Jin. Once or twice, I considered going to the bar with him to play cards and drink, but he probably didn’t have a fake ID, and I doubted he’d fit in with the other shitheads at the bar. The last thing I wanted was for him to wind up in an awkward position, or for Dasha’s cronies to see us paling around. My instincts told me that if anyone found out I’d more or less made a friend, it could put him in danger. Besides that, I didn’t want any of the losers I knew to blurt it out to him that I was a hanyou. 

So I decided to stay out of An Jin as much as we could, and started meeting him in the rocky terrain between Jin and Cheng. Sometimes, we went down into the city to eat or buy something, but mostly we spent our time wandering from the grassy knolls to the mountainous foothills, far away from civilization, where Nature Boy was free to share all his trivial knowledge about the plant and animal life we saw. He was a pretty smart guy, always talking like he knew everything. 

I didn’t know anything, so I didn’t mind. Besides, it was refreshing to get out of the city, and I felt like I could breathe easier. It felt good to unwind, chill out, and enjoy the peace and quiet with someone who didn’t laugh in my face every other minute. 

Hakkai always treated me fairly. 

Actually, that was a fucking understatement. Hakkai was really, freaking nice to me. 

All in all, he was polite to a fault, cold even. His sense of humor was dry and subtle. Past his rigidly perfect manners, he did seem to look down on a lot of the people around us, like they were fake or stupid, and it didn’t take me long to see he wasn’t super nice to everybody, even if he was _polite to everyone. His manners were so frosty and strange, at first it unnerved me to be around him, but he didn’t treat _me with that icy disdain. Instead, he treated me like an equal; he treated me like a _friend, always bringing me food and spotting me for shit I couldn’t afford. Eventually, I got over my bruised ego, and over time I even felt grateful, because he was never patronizing or demeaning about it, he didn’t treat me like a charity case, he was never intentionally cruel, and he didn’t ask me painful, personal questions. So what the fuck was I complaining about? Against my better judgment, I started trusting him.___

And then, I thought of another reason to stay out of the city. 

If Hakkai saw all the shitty people I knew, and all the stupid, nasty things I did on a regular basis, and the slummy places I hung out in, he’d lose respect for me. He’d be disappointed and disgusted. He might even decide he didn’t want to come back. 

After only a month of being friends, I knew I couldn’t let that happen. 

He was the first friend I’d had who let me be myself. He let joke with him, hang off him, and lean on him, and fall asleep next to him on the grass. He let me be gross, and crude, and crass, loud, obnoxious, and childish, and the most I’d get was a brief shake of the head, and a deadpan, “you’re so immature, Gojyo.” 

If I didn’t let up in a reasonable amount of time, he’d give me this dirty-ass look and say in a low voice, “that’s enough now,” but he was over it in five minutes. 

That was cool. He was totally welcome to be himself too, and he always lightened up a lot when we got out of town and into the wilderness. 

At first, I thought it would suck and I’d get bored, but it was ridiculously easy it was to spend an afternoon in the out there, just the two of us. Everything was a game, and every game was a subtle learning experience, a strange, crash-course replacement for the social interaction I’d been deprived of when I was little. 

We did some sparring, and I found out Hakkai was actually kind of bad ass for a human. It pissed me off that my youkai half was so useless I couldn’t even trash a human teenager, but I always made sure to stick with play fighting. I got the feeling I really didn’t want to be on the wrong end of a real fight with Hakkai. According to him, he’d gotten picked on for being a dork when he was younger, so he’d taken a few martial arts classes, but there had to be more to it than that. He fought with precision and the same ruthless, analytical intelligence he took with him everywhere else. His skills were polished and perfect. Dork or not, he was a natural-born fighter. 

When the weather was warm, we swam and climbed trees. When it was cold, we hiked into the rocks and built small fires and talked. I knew when the first snow came I might have to rethink my position on staying out of the city. 

On calm days, when the wind was still, we ran races, but that never went well for me either. Eight out of ten times, Hakkai won, and I got the feeling he let me win the two times he didn’t. 

“What in the hell are you made of?” I panted, flopping onto my back at the bottom of a grassy knoll that was supposed to be our finish line. 

He’d been sitting there a moment or two already. “I beg your pardon?” 

“I mean…you are just a human, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“So how the heck do you keep beating me at everything?” 

“You’re far too competitive—you let it get the best of you.” 

“The only thing around here getting the best of me is one cocky-ass, short, human punk.” 

“I hardly see what being human has to do with it. I’m just faster than you.” 

“Yeah, but I’m a—” 

I barely managed to stop myself before blurting the rest out, bit my tongue, and dug through my pockets for cigarettes instead. 

Hakkai waited politely for me to finish before he said, “Perhaps if you’d cut back on your smoking you wouldn’t have so much difficulty with running.” 

“I don’t have difficulty with runnin’, smartass.” 

“Oh, sure, sure.” He stretched out on his back. 

“What now? You gonna take a nap? Tired from winning everything?” 

“Hardly. I think it’s a perfect day for cloud-watching.” 

“Cloud-watching?” 

He took his eyes off the sky for a moment to look at me. “No, no. You can’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about. Not even you could be that dense.” 

“Not ringing any bells.” 

He jerked me down by the back of the shirt, suddenly. “Cloud-watching, you ridiculous boy. You lie still—in your case, for as long as possible—and—” 

“Just watch the clouds? Goddamn, you guys _do need to build a whorehouse in Cheng.”_

_“And try to figure out what the clouds resemble. For example, that one there looks a bit like a dinosaur. And that one there resembles a mushroom.” He pointed out the two clouds he was looking at. “It’s reasonably entertaining, and it will give your poor, shriveled, black lungs a chance to rest.”_

“My lungs ain’t black. Yet. Hey, that one looks like a rack on a chick.” 

“Ah. I should have known.” 

“And that one is shaped like a dick.” 

“Never mind. I’m afraid any form of beauty is wasted on you.” 

I bopped him in the ribs for that, and then we laid there a while, watching the clouds roll by. The breeze was light and the sun felt good, and I was on the verge of falling asleep when he said, “If it’s not too intrusive to ask, why do you smoke so much?” 

“Lotsa people smoke this much,” I answered drowsily. 

“Yes, but not many of them are fifteen-year-olds.” 

I almost told him most fifteen-year-olds had somebody in their life who gave enough of a shit to tell them not to smoke, but that would be too pathetic. “There’s no real reason. I just like it.” 

“It seems a costly thing to just like, in my opinion.” 

“You’re thinkin’ about it all wrong, ‘Kai. It’s the stuff that costs the most you’re supposed to do just because you like it, otherwise, you ain’t really livin’ your life. I mean, we’re all gonna’ die someday anyway, right?” 

“So why not of lung cancer?” he said, with mild sarcasm. 

“Heh. I’m gonna get shot, probably. Or shanked.” 

Hakkai didn’t have a witty reply for that one, and I got the weirdest feeling what I’d said actually bothered him. 

“That was a joke. I already decided to die during sex.” 

“I suppose that’s a bit better.” 

“You’re always so serious.” I grinned, shutting my eyes again. 

“This is because you’re impractical enough for the both of us.” 

I laughed at that for a moment, and then we were quiet again. 

It seemed like only a minute later when he nudged me and whispered, “Gojyo,” but when I opened my eyes, the sun was setting, and the clouds had turned whispy. Hakkai was sitting up next to me. 

“I should be heading back to Cheng now. It’s getting rather late.” 

“Oh. Yeah.” I sat up too, rubbing my eyes tiredly. “Hey, before you go, tomorrow’s Saturday, right?” 

“Yes. I believe so.” 

“’Kay. I hafta go to Ying tomorrow. Wanna go with me?” 

“Ying? That’s further south, isn’t it?” 

“It should only take like three hours to walk there.” 

“And three hours back.” 

“Guess so. Anyway, if you don’t wanna, that’s cool.” 

“Why, may I ask, are you putting yourself through such a journey?” 

After I’d gotten a cigarette started, I handed him Dasha’s list. It wasn’t the original scroll he’d pulled out of thin-air, it was something I’d scratched out on a napkin. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit about my illegible handwriting, but since it was Hakkai I felt sort of self-conscious. I hoped I hadn’t been dumb enough to misspell anything. 

“What are these things?” he asked after he’d studied it a while. 

“A list of stuff my boss wants me to pick up for him. I figured out where the first one is, but I haven’t seen that idiot Banri in over a month now, so I gotta go by myself. Unless you want to come.” 

I tried not to sound too hopeful, and Hakkai read through the list again. “Does this say hon, or ketsu?” 

_“Hon, asswipe.”_

“You write very sloppy kanji,” he said decidedly. “Well, I can’t think of any reason not to go with you…still, I’m somewhat startled. You don’t exactly strike me as the sort of person who likes running errands for other people.” 

“You’re right—I hate it.” I grinned up at him, barely keeping the honest emotions of frustration and desperation hidden. 

I think he must have seen them anyway. He softened his tone. “Who exactly is your boss?” 

“Boss is the wrong word, but his name is Dasha, and he hired me and Banri a while back as temporary help, ‘cause he’s short-handed right now.” 

“Well, you made that sound innocent enough, but something tells me the man isn’t running a restaurant, Gojyo.” 

I figured, if I was asking him to get involved, I’d better tell him the truth. “No. He’s more of a crime boss.” 

Hakkai frowned. “I see.” 

“Look, you don’t hafta go. I just thought I’d ask.” 

He thought a while longer before answering, “No, I’ll go.” 

I couldn’t quite hide my surprise this time. “Really?” 

“Yes.” He handed the list back to me. “But I’m not going to help you steal something. I’m only going to make sure you don’t get yourself killed.” 

This time, I was stunned, and it was all I could do to stare at him, waiting for him to laugh and say he was kidding and that he didn’t actually care. 

That didn’t happen, and Hakkai looked back at me a moment before his forehead wrinkled. “Gojyo?” 

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just…thinking about something. But, so you’ll go then, right?” Still, I hadn’t expected him to say anything like that, and I wondered if I should have left him out of it. I really only invited him because I didn’t want to walk all that ways alone—I didn’t expect him to agree to go. “That’s cool. Let’s meet tomorrow morning outside the Jin southern exit.” 

“My morning, or yours?” 

“Better make it yours,” I grumbled, knowing that meant I’d have to be up at the ass crack of dawn. 

“Very well then. I’ll be sure to pack a lunch.” He flashed one of his rare smiles at me, and again I couldn’t help feeling dumb for asking him to go, but I couldn’t take it back either. I didn’t want to.


End file.
